I am young women with two kids by my husband who is in the military about a week ago he told me he wasn't ready to be married and that he wanted a divorce and that he wasn't gone pay any of the bills at our house.I know he is seeing someone else. And I just recently joined the military and I am about to be leaving to go to Basic training and He told me he wasn't gone keep our kids because I am not leaving him access to my money why I am gone. And I am a stay at home mom. PLEASE I NEED SOME ADVICE ON WHAT I SHOULD DO BECAUSE I AM LOST, HURT I REALLY DONT HAVE ANY WHERE TO TURN.

Forgive me for asking, but you just joined the military while your husband was in the military? What was your plan for your children?

This is probably the last place you should ask for advice for a family matter. Perhaps contacting a lawyer, your minister and family members. If you are already in the military, your first shirt or company commander.

HE IS NOT ACTIVE ARMY AND HE WOULD KEEP THEM. AND IF ANYTHING WAS TO COME UP MY MOM WOULD KEEP THEM.

the first thing to do is hug your kids and have them hug you, as that is a very important thing.....

then go to the military and find a good atty (maybe thru their connections) and work out a custody aqreement/child support....He cannot just refuse without consequences IMO....

The most important thing to do is calm down and get a piece of paper and start making lists....You can survive this...I promise you....

God Bless...

For my understanding and what has been told to me.. His kids his responsibility, As one going threw what you are at this point I would not discuss it on line. I have two children and he lives in another state. It has been hard. I have been going threw it for 2 years. Check it out with some one in the military you have doors that are opened to you know. good luck please feel free to email me.

There is a television show on the CW called "Cheaters".....I would contact them, they seem to help out a lot of folks.

You're going straight to hell when you die, Gunnar.

There is a wonderful group that can help you with your problems. It is called Military OneSource. Military OnceSource (MOS) is a free 24/7/365 information and referral service available via toll free telephone and Internet access. MOS will provide referrals for non-medical short-term solution-focused, face-to-face counseling at no cost to all active duty, Guard and Reserve (regardless of activation status) and their immediate families. They can also assist you with legal support. You may contact a MOS consultant directly by the following ways:

United States: 1-800-342-9647
En español llame al: 1-877-888-0727
TTY/TDD accessible: 1-866-607-6794

From overseas: xx-800-3429-6477
(Access codes can be found online)
Overseas collect: 484-530-5908
(Contact an international operator first)

www.militaryonesource.com

Good luck!

I think Sarahkt99 and Gunnar have the two best possible posts you could see in this thread.

Unless things have changed in the military, once you're inlisted, your spouse can receive MOST of your military pay, and you get a small "allowance" to live on..better check into that!

Get a lawyer.

Put the kids with mom during basic training if possible.

Good Luck

I would get it into writing with a lawer immediately that you want your mom to have custody while you're gone. Your husband could take the kids and be gone before you blink.

Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer. Do it ASAP. Unfortunately, the JAG corp doesn't usually deal with personal legal issues of the military but find a lawyer experienced in divorce issues involving military personnel. Do it NOW.

GVC's wife

Gunnar, you rock.

You didn't say if you were still in love with him.Get a good lawyer immediatly.Hug you children often.  Talk to them often. They are confused and hurt.Don't let his words define your self-image.Don't accept blame for what is happening.Picture your life (with your children) 5 or 10 years from now.  If he were still in your life, you would be having the same feelings of doubt, mistrust, that you feel right now.  Do you really want that in your future?  You're not losing him, you getting YOU back!  You're entering a new phase of your life.  Walk into the storm like you own it!
My thoughts are with you!

My first question is what branch? You might of said it, but I missed it. Your husband doesn't have the option not to pay, a simple call to his unit would fix all that. I'm active Army so I may be able to answer any questions you might have.

He is in the National Guard.

hmm...my hubby was a sgt in the military, and if there is a divorce eminent, yes the jag will get involved, there is a lot of rules...a lot. one of your officers should be able to point you in the right direction.

I'm at a bit of a loss since he's Natinal Guard, but the first thing I would suggest is once you get to basic inform your Drill Sergeants of the situation.

Cynthia, JAG may get involved but they will not handle the actual filing of divorce papers or court appearances. JAG will on act in an advisory capacity in non-military civil matters. I have a relative who was career army and went through this same thing. Both sides had to hire private lawyers to deal with the actual divorce.


GVC's wife

Hello Everybody again i just wanted to give a update on whats happen the last few days and to thank everyone for the advice. my husband got the my cell phone cut off and changed his phone number. Stole my car. and today got on the phone with the CO over him and said he will fix this so thank you all.

Good luck Brittany, and just think of this as a new beginning and keep looking forward not backward...
Hugs