A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' "

"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"

The 42 year old male Red Lored Amazon that lives with us is not interested in other birds. His affection is focused on my wife. This accounts for his hostility towards me. Don’t ever buy or acquire a large parrot unless you’re prepared to live with the bird the rest of your life.

Parrots tend to bond with one person and, depending on the species, can live 40 or 50 years or even longer. Plus they can be incredibly noisy and dirty. But they are still cool.