Turkey Day Humor
Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr. (+15372) 8 years ago
What sort of glass would you serve cream of turkey soup in?
A goblet.

What is Alan Alda's favorite Thanksgiving food?
M*A*S*Hed potatoes.

What do you call sweet potatoes that are very outspoken?
Candid yams.

I have some relatives with Mohawk haircuts, multiple facial piercings, and multitudinous tattoos. What should I serve them at Thanksgiving?
Punk kin pie.

In my fantasies, I serve a bird with six legs so there's no squabbling. What are these four extra appendages called?

My neighbor served a bird that was infected with salmonella and that she had failed to cook thoroughly. With what did all her guests suffer the next day?
The turkey trots.

When Priscilla realized that both Miles Standish and John Alden wanted her, what expression crossed her face?
A Pill grin.

The local restaurant served overcooked turkey, lumpy gravy, and cold mashed potatoes. What did they advertise it as?
The Blooperplate Special.

NYC set up tall bleachers up and down Broadway this year so spectators could better view what slightly renamed event?
The May See Parade.

Henrik Ibsen wrote what famous play about a Thanksgiving turkey?
Hedda Gobbler

What's a busybody's favorite T-Day dessert?
Peekin' pie.

Am I serving a sweet potato casserole this year?
I yam.

Why did the first settlers have so much trouble harvesting their corn?
They had to make their way through the maize.

What's Pop-Pop's favorite dish?
Granberry sauce.

Using a new recipe, my wife put the turkey in aluminum foil. She had to roast it until it was brown. Twenty-four hours later the aluminum foil was still silver.

[This message has been edited by Richard Bonine, Jr. (11/26/2014)]
Posted by A.T. Nelson (+26) 8 years ago