"Don't Erode Marriage"
Posted by Mary B. (+205) 9 years ago
Letter to the Editor in Tuesday, April 9, 2013 edition of the Miles City Star

Curtis Almy wrote:
Dear editor,

I read the 4/4/13 letter, "More Rights for Others," with interest. I found myself nodding my head in agreement on several points and then banging my head in disagreement on several others. The author accurately points out that the fabric of marriage has been damaged by a number of factors.

James Holmes is the man accused of killing 12 people and injuring 70 at the theater in Denver. I guess he could misuse marriage in an attempt to have conjugal visits.

I agree that a male or female stripper is another way to mess up the fabric of marriage.

The author accurately points out that men can marry, procreate, vacate and never pay to raise their kids. As a CASA volunteer, I've seen this wreck way too many times. Yes, I agree this is a terrible misuse of the institution of marriage. In reality, this frequently happens outside of the "bonds of marriage."

I recognize that there is pain in the reality that life is not "fair." There probably is not one person who leads a pain-free life in that respect. I didn't think that it was fair to have to pay full tuition for private school for my daughter and at the same time pay plenty of property taxes to fund the public schools. I was aware of the cost, and I did make that choice because it was something that I valued enough to pay for. This is a financial inequity, but even more puzzling are the inequities that I face each day when I get out of bed and get ready for work. I can walk. I enjoy vision and hearing. I live in a country that allows more freedoms than any in the world. It's not fair that I was born into wonderful circumstances.

When we consider marriage, it was first established by the Creator and is more than adequately addressed in both the old and new portions of His "users guide." While many feel that it's not fair for Him to limit this institution to one man and one woman, when using it according to the "users guide," it is what works. Throughout world history, despite the imperfections of humanity, the institution of marriage made societies stable. When they abandon traditional marriage, societies fail.

When I encounter "unfairness" in my life, I consider how I can lessen the financial and emotional stress. In the situation addressed in this case, the simple way to fix the issue of not qualifying for a "spousal" benefit is to buy a life insurance policy with your "partner" as the insured and yourself as the owner and beneficiary. That's what I do to make sure my wife of 35 years is taken care of when I am "gone."

Continuing to tear at the fabric of marriage is not the solution.

Curtis Almy
Miles City

Mr. Almy

1. You do not HAVE to pay full tuition for private school for your daughter. You CHOOSE to pay full tuition for private school for your daughter. You cannot complain about the inequity of something you CHOOSE to do. It is absurd. As a side note, paying property taxes to fund public schools is an investment in your community and the community's children. Property taxes also fund a high school that your daughter WILL/HAS attend(ed), assuming you did not choose the homeschooling solution for grades 9-12. You do not need to have a child in the public school system to benefit from its efforts. These are the same children that will return to this community to take care of you and your family in the future.

2. You reference "world history". Please take a class. The first marriage certificates and marriage "laws" were recorded more than a thousand years before Christ, by non-Christians. It is not a relationship that is Christianity's to define.

3. As to your assertion that "many feel that it's not fair for Him to limit this institution to one man and one woman, when using it according to the 'users guide', it is what works." No, it is NOT fair. It is not fair in the same respect that it would not be fair to dictate to you that you may not eat meat because some Hindus interpret their holy text as forbidding it.

4. While it's nice that you maintain a life insurance policy for your wife, will she not also receive a myriad of others benefits, in addition to the proceeds of this policy, upon your death? Do you believe yourselves special that you receive these benefits, while others do not, solely based on the genders of the individuals in a relationship that is none of your business in the first place?

5. Thank you very much for your letter. Everyone has the right to their opinions and thank you for voicing them. It allows other Americans to exercise their rights to voice their own opinions by choosing to invest their money elsewhere. Not all of us are entirely comfortable with fellow Americans choosing the text of their holy book over the text of our nation's founding documents.

Phrases such as "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion" and "no state shall ... deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws" must be defended just as fervently as the Second Amendment we Miles City/Montanans would die to protect.
Posted by Gunnar Emilsson (+18349) 9 years ago
Nice post Mary!
Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr. (+15423) 9 years ago
The notion that marriage has always been the way christians portray it today is ignorant and laughable. Matrimony wasn't recognized as a function of the church until 1065, and wasn't declared a "sacrement" until 1215. It was in the 16th century that the that the church decreed that weddings be performed in public, by a priest, and before witnesses. Marriage is an entity of the state, matrimony is an entity of the church.

150 years ago you married not for "love" but for in-laws by which you could obtain power, land, and wealth. Marriage was was considered too serious a matter to be based on such a fragile emotion.

The idea of marriage as a sexually exclusive, romantic union between one man and one woman is a relatively recent development. Until two centuries ago, monogamous households were a tiny, tiny portion of the world population, found in just Western Europe and little settlements in North America.

Mr. Almy needs to take seriously the biblical injunction to "Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." 2Tim 2:15.
Posted by Buck Showalter (+4452) 9 years ago
Any man afraid that marriage equality is going to damage his own marriage should have noticed all those flannel shirts before he popped the question.
Posted by Hannah Nash (+2539) 9 years ago
Not sure if I'm comfortable with the "Biblical" definition of marriage.