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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr. (+14970) 9 years ago
A zoo acquired a gnu and placed it in a section that was not quite completed. About two-thirds of the cage area had been tiled, and the remainder of the tile was stacked in the corner.

Next morning, the zookeeper was astonished to find that the rest of the tile had been laid, apparently by the new gnu. The keeper was anxious to find out if the gnu actually had laid the tile, so he placed the animal in another unfinished cage with a stack of tile. The gnu laid the tile perfectly in a matter of minutes.

The zookeeper called a press conference to tell of this astonishing gnu feat. When a reporter asked him how he would describe the animal, the keeper thought for a moment, then said, "He's a typical gnu and tiler, too."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once Gnus lived in a far off Principality. They were lovely animals, but very annoying to the royalty.

It seems the Prince of the land was walking one day, when one of the Gnus grabbed his lovely new cap, and devoured it before it could be taken from him. A second Gnu ate his scarf.

This, as you may have guessed, annoyed the prince royally, and more so when the dastardly animals quickly ran to a herd of their fellow Gnus, making it impossible to figure out the criminal animals.

Well, a call went out to all in the Principality for someone to figure out how to prevent this from ever happening again.

People came forth from all corners of the land, for the reward offered was great, the hero/heroine would have a feast in his/her honor, a banquet by the foremost Chef in the land, featuring her special recipe for fried chicken, and what was more, the winner would get the recipe! As no one had EVER walked away from one of her feasts unhappy, everyone wanted to win.

One person painted numbers on each gnu, but when it rained the paint washed off.

Another cut the mane on each gnu to a different length, but that was too hard to tell apart.

So many things were tried, and each failed, such that the prince despaired of an idea that would work, until a cobbler approached the thrones, and begged leave to offer his idea."

"If it please your highness, I have made these leather tags that can be put on each animal. each tag is numbered, and the number is carved and dyed and so will not wash away. By keeping track of each Gnu, you can weed out the troublemaking ones!"

"But how shall you fasten them on?" asked the Prince.

"Simple, my Lord." responded the poor cobbler. Take my awl, and put a hole in the left ear of each animal. Tie the tag on with a stout thread, and the problem is solved!"

And so it was.

The cobbler became both rich and famous, both for the quickness of his wit, and the aptness of his solution.

The prince had a stoneworker scribe the cobbler's deeds, and to this day it reads:

"If you want to please the royalty, you must
Awl the Gnus that fit the Prince!
And your reward will be The Pullet Surprise!"
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Posted by Elizabeth Emilsson (+787) 9 years ago
A fitting way to start a gnu month.
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Posted by Chief No Talk (+13) 9 years ago
Methinks the gnu knew he would be hung with a new gnoose!
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