I have been struggling with understanding an issue, so I might as well ask the question and see if anyone else has the answer. Is the reason that we are subjected to judgment and criticism in the guise of being helpful because Jobie and I are different? For those that don't know, my understanding is that bulls are frequently destroyed by the time they reach 5 years of age because they are deemed to be "mean" (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what many have told me). Jobie is now 5 1/2 and still a "love". From the time Jobie was a baby, people have given us advice. I was told that I needed to assert my superiority in order to control him--confess I wasn't confident I was superior, so I chose to love him instead and I'm not displeased with the way he's turned out. I was told that he must be castrated--never did because I didn't see that his "intact equipment" was an issue and it never has been (Jobie prefers people to bovines--has turned and walked away from some of the latter that were making "moony eyes" at him even though I thought they were pretty cute ones.) I was told he'd be "mean" by the time he was a year old--then by the time he was two, and finally was warned that he might roll over on me when I used him as a pillow (never has and even the little kittens feel safe curled up next to him). I've been told that I have an "unnatural relationship" with a bull--no doubt, if he socialized with cattle, they would tell him he had an "unnatural relationship" with a human. Is it so wrong to be different or should we, instead, be focusing on the positive outcomes from those precise differences? There are many people that have received a benefit because Jobie is the way he is (for which I am no doubt to blame). Is that such a bad thing?

A little over 25 years ago, when I worked for Federal Highways in Helena, I was fortunate enough to go on a week long tour of the state with two engineers (one from the feds and one from MDT). They taught me a great deal about road construction and safety issues. I don't know if I taught them much about accounting, but I did teach them the joys of walking in the rain and stomping in puddles. We remained friends over the years--Three Musketeers, if you will--despite some people criticizing our friendship for varying reasons. We had many things in common (all being veterans--although I went in at the end of the Viet Nam era and they were both sent to Nam) and even more differences which we used to expand our respective perspectives on life. Jim ended up with a disease from exposure to Agent Orange. I can't recall that he ever criticized our government for not taking responsibility. Instead, he said how glad he was MDT provided good health coverage. I can't recall that he ever criticized his family for not being typed as bone marrow donors. Instead, he said how proud he was that he'd beat the odds for over 5 years. When word came that the odds were beating him, I arranged for a reunion. Charles came from Arkansas and picked me up in Cheyenne. Together, with my little dog, we went to see Jim in Helena. He had been put in a rest home due to the side effects of his medications (pain because his skin was literally blistering up and coming off on his arms), but there was no problem in securing his release to go to a restaurant. I called to ask his family if there were restrictions on what he could eat and was told, "No, he'd dying. It doesn't matter. Let him enjoy whatever." Before leaving Helena, I gave him a big hug and, in what was probably one of the saddest moments of my life, he thanked me. Most people were afraid to touch him. He died less than a month later and I still miss him although it's been 14 years. As for the other Musketeer, he sent me money to upgrade my 9 year old computer so that I could finish Jobie's book. He said he believed in it and in me and he didn't want the money back, just a copy of the book. He went out to work one morning early this year and was killed in an accident. He never got a copy of the book because it wasn't yet published, but we included him in every copy because he's one of the people it is dedicated to. The truth is, we're all dying and none of us knows how long we have. Why not spread more joy and less judgment?

So, while Richard and crew are out snatching goodies from shopper's carts and replacing them with melba toast, celery, and sparkling water (being a holiday, after all), Jobie and I will be out giving hugs and kisses (Jobie specializing in that) and wishing everyone the happiest holiday they can imagine. There is too little love and too much judgment in the world. Perhaps, someday, there will be a few new Musketeers to join our crew. As for us, we'll be looking for puddles to stomp in and remembering all those that have gone before. Maybe I'll even figure out how to whip up a batch of tapioca pudding in memory of my Mom (Jobie's Grandma) because she loved it so (despite the fact it probably wasn't good for her because she battled weight issues all her life)!

Happy Thanksgiving to All!

Karen & Jobie

Karen: I was going to refrain from further comment, but since you called me out... My questioning about Jobie's diet was to HELP HIM LIVE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.

In several of the pictures you have posted recently, Jobie appears to be VERY overweight. He cannot carry all of that weight for very long before he comes up lame and there will be some sad consequences for you to address. Milk replacer is about 20% FAT... it is NOT like "soup" but more like "cheesecake".

I know that you are a very well meaning individual, but you are killing Jobie with your "kindness". Please, please, have a large animal vet, one of the nutritionists from Ft. Keogh, or maybe the county agent, stop by and look at Jobie and discuss his diet, (explain EVERYTHING you are feeding him) and put him on a ration that is suitable for the energy that he is expending. Hell, make a contest out of it... can the local weight watchers or TOPS group lose more weight than Jobie.

I am not your enemy here. I was simply trying to help you and Jobie have a long healthy life together.

Children learn what they live. It's how we all became who we are. I'm convinced this goes for animals, too.

Dear Girl...You are SO one in a million! Truly, it's fear and jealousy that make people stand in judgment of you and your ideals. No fair deviating from the 'status quo!' Makes people wonder what you're up to. Indeed, a sad commentary on the human race. Remember, small minds beget small thoughts. Pity their ignorance and moooooove on! You're a gift sweetie! Run with it!

Richard, how could anyone possibly think you have bad intentions about anything? You're one of the most well read, funniest people on this site! I'm sure Karen wasn't singling you out. You're too ADOR-A-BULL.

Jobie hasn't been used as a bull, so he may never be mean. Most bulls are destroyed because when tested the sperm is no good. As far as Richard and I giving you advice.... Well you can have him as a friend for 12 years or lose him at 6. He looks like his left eye has problems, his feet are going ( the food he is eating and being in the corral) his hooves need trimming. He needs grass hay, salt,mineral and fresh water once a day, anything else is killing him. No being mean just facts as one morning you will find him down and the rest is history.

[This message has been edited by tax payer (11/19/2012)]

I don't care what you feed Jobie, as long as he respects a woman's right to make her own reproductive choices, and understands that the biggest stumbling block to peace in the Levant is the death-cult known as Likud.

But I do think that Richard is only trying to be helpful.

You KNOW I've given up on reprimanding you, lol

I've decided to look at it this way: He'd for SURE be dead long ago anyway, and if over-pampering and over-feeding him brings such meaning to your life, who's business is it? * Although you have to realize Richard & Taxpayer make good points as to his chances for a LONG life*

I doubt anyone who knows and cares about you, thinks it's "sweet" that you sacrifice your own well-being to afford keeping him in the lifestyle he's become accustomed to. There again, it's also your choice and you never seem to regret it.

So while others *me included* have our own head shaking moments It boils down to being no different than people obsessing over their dogs and making them into their 'Furry Children'.

Thank you for your comments.

Jobie's eye has been bad since I met him when he was 4 days old. It is actually improved over what it was then.

You are correct about the corral and his hooves--they are in the process of being trimmed (on going process--done over time when he is in the mood which makes it a less stressful process, but which makes it less obvious to the eye in the photographs).

His diet is somewhat nontraditional (although very accepted according to the older school of thought), but he does get the hay and water is available. If you read the other post, you may note that his "milk" is at 30% strength--not really so much that it does a great deal of harm. We have consulted with a vet and are comfortable with the changes made.

As for the degree of "fluffy" in the photos, part of it is the photographer's fault with the angle of the shot. In several of our pictures, I, too, look "fluffy" and I weigh in at about 100 pounds.

Jobie has lost weight (much was put on due to weather and ice conditions which limited his exercise in past winters) and continues to do so in a gradual fashion which is a far more sustainable thing and while he still maintains his positive outlook on life.

We do thank everyone for their concerns, but would wish for less of a "judgmental tone" when people might realize they do not have all of the facts at hand.

Why can't everyone who is a friend of a parent with fat human children go after them with the same zeal?

No one was going after her...if we didn't care we would have kept our mouth shut like the rest of you.

Karen,

You are a wonderful soul who knows the important things in life aren't things. Bless you for loving Jobie and caring for him.