Story


A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and
asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the
restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give
Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He
shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a
cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that
Jesus, over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot
tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches.
He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey!
How's about gettin' me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the
restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer.
"On my bill," he said loudly.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and
said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength
come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness,
you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he
raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the
door.

Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.

The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me ... I'm collecting
disability!"

OH ITS A 47% JOKE THATS WHY ITS SO FUNNY.

GEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ Words fail me....

How much do you want to bet that DEAN doesn't bother with the "Democrat" obfuscation when he tells this to his buddies?

Good one!!

Dean:

I have served with jokes. I know jokes. Jokes are friends of mine. Your post, sir, is not a joke.

If it is not a joke then it is true! thanks.

So, if something is not true, then it's a joke? These are the only options?

DEAN, the only joke is YOU...you are pitiful...

I prefer Your Mom jokes. Are you very familiar with them, Dean? Not that you'd have to be as familiar with them as most people are with your mom, but you do understand the general concept of them, correct?

The reason I ask, Dean, is because some people (Travis Kale) don't get Your Mom jokes. While I'm fully aware that most people do get/have had your mom, it's still a question worth asking.

[This message has been edited by Brian A. Reed (10/17/2012)]

i thought i was great ..

I think you're great, too.

Lighten up Francis'es. Sheesh. (and any good Democrat knows it's Miller LITE)

Thank you howdy duty

Howdy must receive government money, I didn't know it was available for third graders

Howdy must receive government money, I didn't know it was available for third graders

It is a secret they keep from second graders, which is why you don't know about it yet.

seems like a joke to me, kinda a good one at that

+1,000

Now that was a joke. See the difference, Dean.

Dean's right wing is so fat he can hide his armory, gold stash and flag in the folds and still fly.

Yes Richard it was a very good joke,thanks for sharing.

I notice that only left wingers are commenting all day long on these threads. I guess the republicans are busy working and cant sit on their butts and blog all day. Pathetic. Keep your filthy hands out for more!

Love it Grim Reaper...Sad thing is you are 100% correct...I personally thought it was a good joke

Dean it is a joke I understand, but the reason it is not funny is because there is a semblence of truth to it that people residing here for years do not realize is true in other parts of the nation. But don't worry about the part about him not wanting to be healed, cause once on disability, no one concerned wants him off because there is entire industry geared just for this...and it's growing beyond belief. It simply the truth but many don't know it so they just run folks like us down for saying it. Remember the messenger is often killed for delivering the message be it true or not.

I know people who are disabled and on SSI. They would do anything to NOT be disabled and capable of working to support themselves. Very few people sincerely enjoy being "on the dole" For one thing, the amount of money you receive is not large.

What do you suggest we do with the disabled? Let them beg in the streets? Die to decrease the surplus population? Assist them to live with dignity and self-respect?

I have my truths? Are they the same as yours?

I notice that only left wingers are commenting all day long on these threads. I guess the republicans are busy working and cant sit on their butts and blog all day. Pathetic. Keep your filthy hands out for more!

Might I suggest that conservatives don't comment because they have a poor sense of humor and don't appreciate sarcasm and dry wit.

~~~~

I can't believe that a nearly month has gone by and this thread keep cropping up. And where is my sister to give others the same crap about stereotypical humor, that she gave me with the Microsoft joke?

I wonder what I'm supposed to think about all the Republicans I know on disability, or attempting to obtain disability. Hmmmm.....perhaps there's a joke for that one too.

Ammorette some of the truths are indeed the same. You see, therein lies part of the problem. When we mention disability or ssi, everyone of us knows someone who is kin to us or perhaps a close relative or friend who draws. All of these people are worthy for whatever reason. But these funds are not infinite. At some point threre has to be control. With that said, I have to again refer to what I know first hand. I cannot deny a person who has paid in these funds through withholding, but what about the children, young adults, and those who just plain out fraudulently are drawing these funds, who have not paid in or paid in only a few years? It happens, as I said, I know plenty of cases first hand. Children are being placed on ssi for "behaviorial" problems. Illnesses or problems that are short-term are qualifications for ssi and many are drawing ssi after retiring from jobs and prior to social security age. There are many worthy, but the path is easy to sign on for this benefit. No one would want to see anyone truly deserving to draw this benefit not receive it, but in order for the system to work for all we have to do something to control and monitor it. One huge problem is what to do with all the ones currently drawing this money fraudently. I promise there will be an uprising if monies some believe they are entitled to are suspended. It would not be pretty, but it has to happen. Part of the problem with many of you believing me is most of the things I speak of are not so common here. This part of the country is not completely isolated from these things, but well insulated.

Tom speaks the truth.

Disability rates vary geographically, as well (source: U.S. Census 2000):
Nearly 40 percent of persons reporting a disability live in the South - twice the 20 percent of each of the other three geographic areas. Persons living in West Virginia reported the highest rate of disability, at 24.4 percent, followed by Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky and Mississippi, each over 23 percent.

Golly, those are all Republican states. Very interesting.

I think Danny K and Tommy C need to start hanging out.

It takes an average of two years to get SSI. How do you get it for 'short term' disabilities? The answer is -- you don't. And how can a child pay an adequate amount into a program if they are born disabled and in need of assistance?

It is so easy to point at someone and say, ha, they don't DESERVE to be helped, especially if you have no idea what their problem is.

Yes, there is fraud. As long as people are involved in anything, there will be fraud.

The biggest source of fraud in the country has to do with defense contractors. They steal enormous sums. Why not start going after them and let the person with a disabled child get by as best they can.

Oh, right. Military Industrial complex can do no wrong.

Denise, this is where I am from so you see, hopefully what I am talking about. If I had of guess at a percentage, I would have said 25%. For your information, even though my home state voted Republican for president, I live in a Democrat controlled, gerrymandered district. We have no option but to elect a Democrat, and also a black one. Period. That was the intention when it was set up. We also have in my county, two gerrymandered supervisor districts set up the same way to reflect the population of the county, which is almost 40% black. But back to your subject about the states being Republican states but heavy on disability recipiants. Those drawing these funds are every race and religion. More and more people become willing to go on this dole in large part due to the lack of employment or underemployment. This goes back to a statement I made previously somewhere on this forum, that I believe from this point forward, a Democrat will be the only one capable of winning the Presidential election. It's economics. Why would one vote for the party threatening to take away their funds? Not to say that Republicans are not partly responsible for doling out money to buy votes too, but Republicans are the ones talking so strongly about cutting entitlements.

Amorette, again I'm speaking facts that I know. I have been employed in your industry. I am not speaking about those in need. I am speaking of those who do not need or do not need permanently. I have my facts straight from sources and from just personal knowledge. Has it ever occured to you there are those that are paid to get one on these funds? It happens everyday. I promise I know this. And I have seen bass boats, new vehicles, motorcycles, you name it bought with the two year backpayments you speak of. I know a teen who got on disability for behavior problems, not some form of disability, but someone the school could not control and the parents would not, who told me he drew a yearly check for backpayment for a number of years rather than a lump sum. If it was a lie he told it. They refer to them as "crazy checks" and it is real. I truly wish all of this did not sound so far fetched but we have been living with this sort of stuff most of my life.

A song for every occasion...

Tom, it's high time you learn the difference between facts and anecdotal evidence.

This IS the man who said he has learned things personally that he did not personally experience.

This goes back to a statement I made previously somewhere on this forum, that I believe from this point forward, a Democrat will be the only one capable of winning the Presidential election. It's economics. Why would one vote for the party threatening to take away their funds? Not to say that Republicans are not partly responsible for doling out money to buy votes too, but Republicans are the ones talking so strongly about cutting entitlements.

And yet the states with the highest percentages collecting disability and highest percentages paying no federal income tax continue to vote Republican.

Go figure.

Oh, the poop is right there on my knee. You know how you stop noticing a smell once you get used to it.

Mohammad, an Arab child, entered his classroom on the first day of school in Ohio.

"What is your name?" asked the teacher.

"Mohammad" answered the kid.

"You are in America now. From now on your name will be Johnny," replied the teacher.

In the evening, Mohammad returned home. "How was your day, Mohammad?" asked his mother.

"My name is not Mohammad. I'm in America and now my name is Johnny."

"Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" and she beat him. Then she called his father and he too beat him.

The next day Mohammad returned to school. When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked, "What happened to you little Johnny"?

"Well ma'am, 4 hours after becoming an American, I was attacked by Muslims.

I'm glad I have had the experiences I have because otherwise I would be as clueless about the goings on outside of this winter wonderland as you all are.

Could you just wait until the appropriate time to share those great experiences? Like maybe the next cross burning?