Icing the election
Posted by Hal Neumann (+9960) 9 years ago
The 2012 Presidential election was too close to call. Neither Romney nor Obama had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounts, court challenges, etc., but in the end, it was decided to settle the matter in a man-to-man way. It was decided that the candidates would hold a week-long ice fishing competition - that the candidate who caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election. While not up to the standards of code duello, it was thought that this would be better than tossing another election into the hands of SCOTUS.

After much wrangling and back and forth discussion, it was determined that the contest would take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Wisconsin . There were to be no poll watcher or election observers present. Both men would be sent out to separate sites on the lake at 8A.M. and return at 5 P.M. with their catch. The fish would be counted and tallied by a team of neutral observers.

At the end of the first day, Obama returned to the counting station with 10 fish.

Romney returned with no fish. Talking heads, pundits, and media commentators assumed he simply had a bad day - most predicted Romney would make a big comeback the following day.

At the end of the 2nd day Obama weighed in with 20 fish . . . Romney again returned empty-handed.

That evening, the Republican National Committee and the Romney campaign secretly met to try and determine why their boy was coming up short. The consensus was, of course, that "Obama was a low-life, cheatin' S.O.B." They instructed Romney to not bother fishing the next day, but to sneak around and spy on Obama and learn just how it was that he was cheating.

The next night (after Obama returned with 50 fish), the Republican cabal met with Romney to hear how was that the President was actually catching fish.

"You are not going to believe this," Romney reported with a stunned look on his face, "he's cutting holes in the ice."
Posted by gypsykim (+1557) 9 years ago