It's your "tern"
Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr. (+15076) 10 years ago
A butcher went into a pet shop and fell in love with one the seagulls. Since he had no money to buy the bird, the shop owner agreed to give him the bird in exchange for one of his delicious German sausages.

Yes, he took a tern for the wurst.


The experimental salt-water algae farm was having difficulty because of the depletion of the plants by hundreds of sea gulls. An ornithologist was hired to solve the problem. His solution was to grow cannabis sativa plants along the rim of the algae tanks. The terns would nibble at the cannabis and leave the algae alone. Cost was the only factor.

He was sent to the Chief Financial Officer to get approval. "Certainly, spend all that is necessary" he was told "Leave no tern unstoned."


A chief petty officer caught an AWOL sailor as he tried to sneak aboard ship. Upon hearing the sailor's lame explanation, the petty officer told him, "Sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning, or it's the brig for you!"

The sailor picked up a broom, but before he could sweep, a tern landed on the handle. The lad picked the tern off and tossed it overboard. The bird lit again on the broom handle, and was again tossed away. On and on, through the night, they went through the same routine.

In the morning, when the petty officer inspected, he found the chain still dirty. "What have you been doing all night?" he asked angrily.

"Honest, chief," came the reply, "I tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!"
Posted by Mary Bonine (+31) 10 years ago
now that's more like it!
Posted by Duncan Bonine (+282) 10 years ago
Why can't it be a time to refrain...?