Management Styles
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr. (+15082) 10 years ago
This is funny only because it is so true.



1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES
These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.

2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW
These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, they keep staring out of the windows.

3) MANAGING BY POST-IT'S
Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their business by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking.

4) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING
These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.

5) MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING
These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work never seems to phase them. They always have something to say about every topic.

6) MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION
Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of stimulants from category 5!

7) MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS
These managers work hard to limit creative thinking by their bosses. If they don't they get more work to do.

8) MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS
In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.

9) MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS
If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career!

10) MANAGING BY STUDYING
Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from the practice.

11) MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES
If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority of that promise is too low to remember.

12) MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS
Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows, boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.

13) MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM
This is a major improvement of the older OPEN DOOR management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.

14) MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS
This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.

15) MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE
In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.

16) BUA MANAGEMENT (BY USING ABBREVIATIONS)
This management style is ATRASACWOC. (Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication)

17) MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS
These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms.

18) MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION
If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.

19) MANAGING BY BELIEVING
These managers must be spiritually educated, because they have no clues at all.
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Posted by Tucker Bolton (+3703) 10 years ago
While VP of manufacturing for a busy Southern corporation, I met and worked with A.W.. Even though the concern is now defunct and A.W. is feeble or gone on to that great hanger in the atmosphere. I will keep he and the company anonymous. The management style I will now share is to me truly admirable.

Management in Absentia; In the late seventies, while doing about sixty million dollars a year business with the Saudi's, the company ego exploded. Long time, domestic clients were ignored. There were more VP's than janitors. A.W. had helped build this thriving concern and tried to keep things in perspective. Normally a quiet zen like man, gifted with talent and intelligence he became resigned to the fact that like all corporate pimps with only one whore, it was only a matter of time. Before the fall.

With the rest of the company practicing all of the management styles listed above, A.W. refused to waste his time in trying to BS anyone by pretending to be busy. His routine was brilliant. At seven AM A.W. would arrive, turn on his office lights, hang his suit coat on the coat rack, get coffee and come to my office. We would visit for a bit after which he would circulate through the offices and the 300,000 sq ft manufacturing facility until about nine AM saying "good morning" and being seen. By nine fifteen he would stick his head in give me a wave, go to his car and head out to work on restoring the antique aircraft that he owned, for the remainder of the day. At five or six PM he would appear, put on his coat turn out the office light and go home. He did it for a year and a half.

People would come by every once in a while and ask if I had seen A.W., I would always respond. "He was in his office earlier" or "He is in a meeting with Larry" or "He just left my office, see if his lights are on". I would love it when they would come back by my office and tell me, "He's around here. His coat is hanging up and the lights are on."

A.W. and I had worked together before. He hired me and brought me in to build manufacturing facilities. We later became partners and worked on what, at the time was the tallest building in the orient. That's another story.
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