Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr. (+15075) 10 years ago

Botanist Roy Noble had always dreamt of ending world hunger. After years of research, his hard work paid off. He developed a strain of peas that would grow virtually anywhere. It grew fast, kept long without spoiling, and was more nutritious than even soybeans. He was an instant hero, worldwide. There were awards and parades, and naturally the new strain of peas was named Noble. After enjoying the fame and fortune for a while, Roy decided he wanted to do more, so he established a fund to award a monetary prize each year to botanists and horticulturists who were making significant contributions to their fields.

Thus was born the famous Noble Peas Prize.

Bonus Joke:

The Sixties, yes, the Sixties. Time of hope, time of rebellion, time for planning new ways to do things, ways that could not be any worse that what was being done at that time. In contrast to most of the other movements of the time, one very active group combined militant vegetarianism (not so uncommon) with militant prohibitionism (very uncommon). They believed, in fact, that the first would automatically lead to perfect health. Eat only vegetables, love one another, and the desire and drive to consume Demon Rum would just pass away.

They believed that: "Peas would rule the planets, and love would clear the bars. It was the dawning of the age of asparagus."

Extra Bonus Joke:

Peas are remarkable fruit. So remarkable that many prizes and awards for their improvement have been established. From Gregor Mendel's peaoneering work to the present day. They are so versatile, that the custom, like that of throwing rice at weddings, has arisen of throwing peas at prize ceremonies, otherwise known as peas at any prize.

Unfortunately the strain of peas he developed choked out any other plants nearby. The dying plants could be heard singing "Peas release me, let me grow!"

Extra Extra Bonus Joke:

Our family has a tradition at Christmas time. We eat black eye peas along with the traditional turkey or ham to symbolize good fortune in the coming New Year. We then take a small amount of these and bring them outside to the garden and spread them on the ground. This is to symbolize peas on Earth.

Extra Extra Extra Bonus Joke:

Everyone knows how the Green Giant dresses when he works in the field. But when he goes to a corporate board meeting, what does he usually wear?

A three pea suit.