Lets start a new limerick thread. The other was growing verrrrry long. That's not a bad thing.

This was the last posting.
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There once was a dog named Ivan
that mutt was always connivin'

There once was a dog named Ivan
that mutt was always connivin'
flea ridden and dusty

There once was a dog named Ivan
That mutt was always connivin
Flea ridden and dusty
But, oh so trusty

There once was a dog named Ivan
That mutt was always connivin'
Flea ridden and dusty
But, oh so trusty
till he met a blueblood at the drive-in
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A hunter named Patrick Magee

A hunter named Patrick Magee
Stumbled and fell to his knee

[This message has been edited by salli starkey (edited 10/14/2003).]

A hunter named Patrick Magee
Stumbled and fell to his knee
And when he got up

A hunter named Patrick Magee
Stumbled and fell to his knee
And when he got up
He saw a huge buck

[This message has been edited by salli starkey (edited 10/14/2003).]

A hunter named Patrick Magee
Stumbled and fell to his knee
And when he got up
He saw a huge buck
that felt blessed at his luck and ran free
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There once was a floozie named Lil

There once was a floozie named Lil
who knew the fella's on Capitol Hill

There once was a floozie named Lil
who knew the fella's on Capitol Hill
So she powdered her nose

There once was a floozie named Lil
who knew the fella's on Capitol Hill
So she powdered her nose
and she cinched up her hose

There once was a floozie named Lil
Who knew all the fellas on Capitol Hill
So she powdered her nose
Cinched up her hose
And went to see a fella named Bill


There once was a jackass named Max

There once was a jackass named Max
this jerk just couldn't relax

There once was a jackass named Max
this jerk just couldn't relax
obnoxious and rude

There once was a jackass named Max
this jerk just couldn't relax
obnoxious and rude
He spit out his food

There once was a jackass named Max
this jerk just couldn't relax
obnoxious and rude
He spit out his food
So the Country Club gave him the ax.

Opportunity dances

Salli, I think you had the wrong forum when you started anew. I think you were in the Haiku topic. No biggie, I will start a new linerick for you.
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A sailor named old Jack The Bold

A sailor named old Jack The Bold
He could cuss up a storm I've been told

A sailor named old Jack The Bold
He could cuss up a storm I've been told
he'd smoke and drink

Asailor named Old Jack the Bold
He could cuss up a storm I've been told
He'd smoke and drink
Never bathed, and how he did stink

A sailor named Old Jack the Bold
He could cuss up a storm I've been told
He'd smoke and drink
boy, how he did stink
and his teeth were all covered with mold
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Dan traded his sheep for a goat

[This message has been edited by Tucker Bolton (edited 10/16/2003).]

Dan traded his sheep for a goat
Laced up his boots & put on his coat

Dan traded his sheep for a goat
Laced up his boots & put on his coat
But the goat ate his hat

Dan traded his sheep for a goat
Laced up his boots & put on his coat
But the goat ate his hat
then butted his cat

Dan traded his sheep for a goat
Laced up his boots & put on his coat
But the goat ate his hat
then butted his cat
And left on a slowing moving boat

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A hag in her 40s named Milly

A hag in her 40s named Milly
Was acting rather silly

A hag in her 40s named Milly
Had a goat in her backyard named Billy

A hag in her 40s named Milly
Was acting rather silly
She boiled some meat in a pot

A hag in her 40s named Milly
Was acting rather silly
She boiled some meat in a pot
Before it could rot

You guys! limerick, limerick, limerick.

This is the form.

There once was a blah blah blah blah blah
That blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
he blah blah blah blah blah
then blah blah blah blah blah
and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
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A hag in her fourties named Millie


[This message has been edited by Tucker Bolton (edited 10/16/2003).]

A hag in her 40s named Milly
Was acting rather silly
She boiled some meat in a pot
Before it could rot
And fed it to a boy named Billy

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Uncle Stipple was a man of means

Uncle Stipple was a man of means
who dined on potatos and beans

Uncle Stipple was a man of means
who dined on potatos and beans
And when his eating was done

Uncle Stipple was a man of means
who dined on potatos and beans
And when his eating was done
The fun begun

Uncle Stipple was a man of means
who dined on potatos and beans
And when his eating was done
The fun begun
he went on a gaseous fling
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May I offer an example of this poem in true limerick style?

Uncle Stipple was a man of means
who dined on potatos and beans
when his eating was done
then the fun was begun
he went on a green gaseous fling
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Aunt Helen was old as the hills
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Aunt Helen was old as the hills
With a gulp she swallowed some pills

Aunt Helen was old as the hills
With a gulp she swallowed some pills
Blinked, as Uncle Stipple flew by
(hahahahahaha)

I give up

Aunt Helen was old as the hills
With a gulp she swallowed some pills
Blinked, as Uncle Stipple flew by
And we all wondered why
(sorry)
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There once was a dog named Rufus

Aunt Helen was old as the hills
With a gulp she swallowed some pills
old Uncle Stipple flew by
And we all wondered why
Aunt Helen was feeling quite ill

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There once was a dog named Rufus

There once was a dog named Rufus
Who lifted his leg and booed us

There once was a dog named Rufus
Who lifted his leg and booed us
then sniffed at the sky

There once was a dog named Rufus
Who lifted his leg and booed us
Then sniffed at the sky
And said with a sigh

There once was a dog named Rufus
Who lifted his leg and booed us
Then sniffed at the sky
And said with a sigh
Sorry, but I'm a dufus

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A wrinkled old man of Sharm

A wrinkled old man of Sharm
could fly with the flaps on his arm

A wrinkled old man of Sharm
could fly with the flaps on his arm
But wrinkles cause drag

A wrinkled old man of Sharm
could fly with the flaps on his arm
But wrinkles cause drag
So he cinched up the sag

a wrinkled old man of Sharm
could fly with the flaps on his arm
But wrinkles cause drag
So he cinched up the sag
And landed without causing much harm
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A rancher out shearing his fish

A rancher out shearing his fish
Saw a goshawk appear with a swish

A rancher out shearing his fish
Saw a goshawk appear with a swish
He rolled a tight smoke

A rancher out shearing his fish
Saw a goshawk appear with a swish
He rolled a tight smoke
after napping, he awoke

A farmer out shearing his fish
saw a goshawk appear with a swish
he rolled a tight smoke
after napping, he awoke
then ate a nice homemade knish



A sailor set out on the briny

A sailor set out on the briny
With three women and a man of ninety

A sailor set out on the briny
With three women and a man of ninety
All five were quite drunk

A sailor set out on the briny
With three women and a man of ninety
All five were quite drunk
Tried to climb up a trunk

A sailor set out on the briny
With three women and a man of ninety
All five were quite drunk
Tried to climb up a trunk
and fell on their arses, oh blimey
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A planter from Montego Bay

A planter from Montego Bay
Was cutting and bailing his hay

A planter from Montego Bay
Was cutting and bailing his hay
When up from the ground

A planter from Montego Bay
Was cutting and bailing his hay
When up from the ground
Came a strange sound

A planter from Montego Bay
Was cutting and bailing his hay
When up from the ground
Came a very strange sound
From a gopher he'd seen last May

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There once was a rancher from stoop

There once was a rancher from stoop
who skipped along rolling a hoop

There once was a rancher from stoop
who skipped along rolling a hoop
when a rattlesnake bit

There once was a rancher from stoop
who skipped along rolling a hoop
when a rattlesnake bit
threw him into a fit

There once was a rancher from stoop
who skipped along rolling a hoop
when a rattlesnake bit
threw him into a fit
and he did a loop de loop

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There once was a bear named Boo

There once was a bear named Boo
Who snored 'til quarter of two

There once was a bear named Boo
Who snored 'til quarter of two
then gave a big yawn

There once was a bear named Boo
Who snored 'til quarter of two
then gave a big yawn
For it was way past dawn

There once was a bear named Boo
Who snored 'til quarter of two
Then gave a big yawn
For it was way past dawn
There's no wake-up call at the zoo


One day the biker's Hog

One day the biker's Hog
Was going to fast & slipped into a bog

One day the biker's Hog
traveled fast & slipped in a bog
he wiped of his face
and felt his disgrace
then went home and kicked his poor dog
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The page is pretty full. Let's start a new one.
Go to "Man From Nandee 3" where a new limerick awaits.