ROLL CALL-Who is still here after the Rapture?
Posted by Cheryl Pieters (+474) 10 years ago
Rapture Wreaks Havoc On Local Book Club

MILES CITY, MT-Following the rapture, which transported four members of the Miles Mockingbirds Book Club to heaven in order to be with Jesus Christ, the three remaining members have reportedly been scrambling to maintain a regular Wednesday meeting schedule as well as the usual coffee-and-pastry rotation.
"It's a shame because I think Shirley had the most stimulating opinions, and I was really looking forward to hearing what she'd have to say about [Fannie Flagg's Standing In The Rainbow] right before her ascension," said club member Diane Valinsky Monday. "And we were supposed to meet at Lucas' house this week, but I guess that's out now, seeing as the armies of Satan are on the march."
Valinsky said she and the remaining members were not surprised that the Antichrist turned out to be Mitch Albom, calling his latest fiction effort, For One More Day, "disappointing",

http://www.theonion.com/a...club,5603/
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Posted by Jeri Dalbec (+3243) 10 years ago
Well..I waited with my little computer notebook in its case and no-one showed up...so, then, I figured that I was one that was left to be punished until Oct. 21st. But, alas, I just read where the dude who started this is quite surprised as he is still here. The guy who took money in advance to care for the animals is quite blessed as his contract read, "No refunds"...and, they said he even had a horse from Montana along with the little animals. So much for this rapture.
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Posted by Hal Neumann (+9919) 10 years ago
Our luggage went missing someplace between King Salmon and Billings.

Does that count?
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Posted by Cheryl Pieters (+474) 10 years ago
Apocalypse believers await end, skeptics carry on

http://news.yahoo.com/s/a...e_saturday

OAKLAND, Calif. - They spent months warning the world of the apocalypse, some giving away earthly belongings or draining their savings accounts. And so they waited, vigilantly, on Saturday for the appointed hour to arrive.

When 6 p.m. came and went across the continental U.S. and various spots around the globe, and no extraordinary cataclysm occurred, some believers expressed confusion, while others reassured each of their faith. Still, some others took it in stride.

"I had some skepticism but I was trying to push the skepticism away because I believe in God," said Keith Bauer - who hopped in his minivan in Maryland and drove his family 3,000 miles to California for the Rapture.

The May 21 doomsday message was sent far and wide via broadcasts and websites by Camping, an 89-year-old retired civil engineer who has built a multi-million-dollar Christian media empire that publicizes his apocalyptic prediction. According to Camping, the destruction was likely to have begun its worldwide march as it became 6 p.m. in the various time zones, although some believers said Saturday the exact timing was never written in stone.

In New York's Times Square, Robert Fitzpatrick, of Staten Island, said he was surprised when 6 p.m. simply came and went. He had spent his own money to put up advertising about the end of the world.

"I can't tell you what I feel right now," he said, surrounded by tourists. "I don't understand it. I don't know. I don't understand what happened.

"Obviously, I haven't understood it correctly because we're still here," he said
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Posted by Steve Craddock (+2743) 10 years ago
I'm still present and accounted for. Phew - that was a close one! Well, I know I'm not as young as I used to be, but now I feel fairly confident that I'm also not as old as I'm gonna be.... So I think that calls for a DRINK!
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Posted by poisonspaghetti (+281) 10 years ago
Still here. That's what I get for poisoning spaghetti.
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Posted by howdy (+4943) 10 years ago
Present and accounted for...
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Posted by Big Dave (+434) 10 years ago
Maybe it did occur and no one qualified...
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Posted by Josh Rath (+2305) 10 years ago
Well then. Glad I took the nap instead of waiting up...
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Posted by Tom Masa (+2042) 10 years ago
Here
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Posted by Steve Craddock (+2743) 10 years ago
you've got a very good point there, Big Dave. If I recall the Rapture Rules correctly, that gives us six more months to raise Holy Hell before going there... is that right?
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Posted by Big Dave (+434) 10 years ago
I think it is Steve.

So extra ice cream for Big Dave and the clan tonight. Living on the edge. Tomorrow - 2 creams instead of 1 in my coffee.

[This message has been edited by Big Dave (5/21/2011)]
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Posted by Shu (+1794) 10 years ago
Still here...and Rapture was never anything but the title of a "Blondie" song from the 80's. The lack of said event today proves that.
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Posted by Wendy Wilson (+6165) 10 years ago
Bueller?
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Posted by ABE (+421) 10 years ago
How do you guys know it didn't happen, and we are all just screwed?
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Posted by Bob Netherton II (+1905) 10 years ago
Sometimes, when Richard adds a joke to one of his threads, I think I'm already suffering through the Tribulation.
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Posted by K. D. (+362) 10 years ago
Damn, I was to busy drunk and fornicating, and the missed whole thing. Can someone fill the blanks in for me please? Thanks
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Posted by Michael LaFayette (+77) 10 years ago
so all them people who donated money to this guy are SOL... maybe they should go after him for fraud ?? in this day in age they would probably win, with the other stupid things people sue for and win...
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Posted by Dona Stebbins (+819) 10 years ago
Darn! I had my clean undies packed and I was ready to go! Think I will just go to Europe instead...
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr. (+14950) 10 years ago
Sometimes, when Richard adds a joke to one of his threads, I think I'm already suffering through the Tribulation.


Seems like an invitation ...

What does Mickey Mouse sing when driving?
Car tunes.

How did the telephone propose?
With a ring.

Who's the best dancer at the monster party?
The Boogie-man!

What do you get when you cross a tiger with a needle?
Pin stripes.

What language does a porcupine speak?
Spine language!

What is the best kind of container to catch fish in?
A peli-can

Why was the monastery was shut down for building code violations?
It did not have enough friar escapes.

Why is it bad to leave a book outside overnight?
Because in the morning it will be overdew.

Why did the firefighter call the police?
He saw the fire escape

What did one plate say to the other plate?
Food's on me tonight!

Why was the clock in prison?
It was just doing time.

What happened to the egg when it laughed?
It cracked up!

What did the depressed lake say to itself?
I'm not worth a dam.

Why was the zombie happy to be in court?
He was hoping the judge would give him a life sentence.

Why did the man bring his dog to the railroad station?
To train him.

BTW... I am still here.
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Posted by Kacey (+3159) 10 years ago
Still here...although watching the cavorting at the Bucking Horse Street dance in the pouring rain and wind I could easily have pictured a little Sodom and Gomorrah!
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Posted by Gunnar Emilsson (+17321) 10 years ago
Well, I'm up in Heaven now. Guess helping old ladies cross the street did have some tangible benefits.

Fortunately, St. Peter has a sound internet connection, so I can still check in.

The biblical flood this past weekend was just the beginning. Gabriel tells me Miles City can expect around three feet of molten lava next week. The good news is that the lava will severely crimp the followup plague of locusts.

Those of you wanting to know what its like up here, I can report:

Heaven...
Heaven is a place....
a place where nothing...
Nothing ever happens...
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Posted by Tom Masa (+2042) 10 years ago
What about the mosquitos??
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Posted by Cheryl Pieters (+474) 10 years ago
ATTENTION ALL JUDGEMENT and DOOMSDAY BELIEVERS:
Due to technical difficulties ... The scheduled END OF WORLD event has been postponed. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. If you have already quit your job, given away your life savings or liquidated all of your assets ... Oooops ... Our bad! We will attempt another doomsday event in December, 2012. Please stay tuned.
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Posted by Cheryl Pieters (+474) 10 years ago
Thank GOD. I was going to repent at 5:59 but time got away from me.
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Posted by Elizabeth Emilsson (+797) 10 years ago
Gunnar, you're not in heaven, at least not on the Missouri Synod side. If you were, Granny would have said.
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Posted by Mellow (+81) 10 years ago
The party in hell has been cancelled, due to fire.
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr. (+14950) 10 years ago
Well, I'm up in Heaven now. Guess helping old ladies cross the street did have some tangible benefits.


So Gunnar please tell us, in heaven are the marshmallow jello salads in altar and pulpit fellowship with the sour kraut casseroles?
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Posted by Wendy Wilson (+6165) 10 years ago
I want Gunnar to tell me what kind of beer they have up there.
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Posted by Jeff Denton (+763) 10 years ago
The beer isn't the problem. Ever tried Alaskan Thunder#uck?
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Posted by Sheri Cain (+43) 10 years ago
New update: The guy who said it was suppose to happen on Saturday now says he miscalulated so the new date is October 21. This is for all you who BELIEVE...
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr. (+14950) 10 years ago
I think that Mr. Camping was partially correct.... anyone notice the absence of certain lovable atheists?
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Posted by howdy (+4943) 10 years ago
but why would atheists be gone, Richard?? LOL...I thought the true believers would be gone??
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Posted by Tom Masa (+2042) 10 years ago
Maybe they are! It just us heathens that are still here!!!
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr. (+14950) 10 years ago
but why would atheists be gone, Richard??


I don't know for sure, just that they are [email protected]
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Posted by Cheryl Pieters (+474) 10 years ago
Good Afternoon, Fellow Damned!

I think the damned are supposed to be the ones that got left behind although from where I sit that looks like ALL of us (LOL)!

I've read that Harold Camping guy has predicted the end of the world about 10 times now. This last time he got people to send him approx. 80 million dollars in donations!

http://globalheadlinenews...ction.html

I think I see a scam going on here. Should we surprized if Harold Camping is one of the people left behind?...Do you think God would really bring someone like THAT to heaven? That would be seriously screwed up!
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Posted by Kelly (+2706) 10 years ago
Ever tried Alaskan Thunder#uck?


Sarah Palin has a new nickname?
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Posted by Wayne White (+255) 10 years ago
Why in the world, that just missed judgement day according to some idiot that has nothing better to do, does the news media give Mr. Camping the time of day? There has got to be some news worthy of reporting, sensation, sensation, thats all they know. This man does not deserve to waste our time.
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