Stephen Cobert at the White House Press Correspondents Dinner

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/wa...=1&t=t&f=b

Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/wa...=1&t=t&f=b

Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/wa...=1&t=t&f=b

"I have nothing but contempt for them all"

I would have loved to be there to see Dubya's face.

Are you Colin's brother?

The one and only. You sound like you're in the industry - where are you at these days?

Minneapolis. You?
What industry are you referring to, IT? I'm an infosec manager for Target corp.
How's Colin these days? Last I knew he was in Oregon but he wasn't at our reunion. I was hoping he'd be there. I try keeping up on all the SH guys.

"What industry"

The one that makes the world go 'round - IS (or, I suppose, IT).

Yes, Colin's out in Portland - they're expecting their second baby here in a month or so.

Well, tell him I said congrats if you talk to him soon. I assume then you're doing some type of IT/IS work?

I'm a developer with Micron out here in Boise.

I'll let him know....

To get back to the topic on hand - no one else found these clips as amusing as Josh and I? El Guapo? Are you back from the protests yet?

Nice, send me a couple gig chips then. Thanks

I'm waiting to view them until I get home. I'm sure they'll be fantastic. I love Stephen Colbert - unfortunately, we weren't able to get tickets to the Colbert Report when we'll be in NYC next week (my first trip - I'm psyched!) We will be in the audience for The Daily Show, though.

Brian: This is off topic, but thought I'd give you some unsolicited tips for your NYC trip.

(1) Hop on the Staten Island Ferry just before sunset (it's free), ride to Staten and back, and you'll get a great view of the Statue of Liberty w/ the sun setting in the background.

(2) Grab some cannoli at Veniero's Pastry shop (11th street, between 1st and 2nd avenue). You can thank me later.

(3) If you do the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island loop, allot extra time for Ellis Island and don't spend the time to go to the top of the Statue - not worth it IMHO. And Ellis Island is just outstanding.

(4) Don't eat Italian in Little Italy, you'll usually find better Italian elsewhere.

(5) As long as you've got your beer/wine cooler/etc... in a brown paper bag, the cops won't cite you for open container. So, take a beverage on the Staten Island ferry and enjoy the sunset!

Have fun, I'm envious!!!

Brian - You'll no doubt be shot as a terrorist

Josh - You might think that I could get memory cheap, but you're wrong. A %5 discount is all that Micron kicks my way.

Brian: be sure and check out the EIB building.

Bridger,

I always wondered if that was you, how have you been?

Brian: be sure and check out the EIB building if you're looking for some OxyContin.



(Richard: I fixed your post)

Josh - You might think that I could get memory cheap, but you're wrong. A %5 discount is all that Micron kicks my way.



More importantly, can you get cheap ducets to the MPC Computers Bowl, played on the beautiful blue turf?

That was quite possibly the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life. Balls - the man has balls.

And yet it gets hushed - Liberal media my LEFT foot!

MPC was spun off a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. They belong to Hostpro now, I think.

I don't know if you've ever been to Boise in late December/early January, but there's a reason they have to take the 8th team out of the ACC.

Brian -

I have to agree on both points.

I'm also starting to worry about El Guapo - maybe someone should contact the INS and make sure he didn't get deported by mistake...

[This message has been edited by Bridgier (edited 5/3/2006).]

Bridgier, you can't deport someone who's already gone.

Apparently, there was some sort of copyright infingement...the link Bridgier isn't working...so I will paste this for those us of who hadn't read it. Sorry for the formatting, I cut this off another forum. It is hilarious enough to reproduce.

Rick, please feel free to post something of zero relevance to this topic.
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What follows is Stephen Colbert's talk at the White House
Correspondents' dinner
5/1/06* Bush was sitting two seats to his right on the dais... It was
great.
Check out the video if you can.

Story at:
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/043006F.shtml

Actual video (in 3 parts) can be seen at:
http://thankyoustephencolbert.org/wordpress/

"Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I've been asked to
make an
announcement. Whoever parked 14 black bullet proof S.U.V.'S out front,
could
you please move them. They are blocking in 14 other black bulletproof
S.U.V.'S and they need to get out.

Wow, wow, what an honor. The White House Correspondents' Dinner. To
just sit
here, at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush, to be this close
to
the man. I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what,
I'm a
pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the
face.

Is he really not here tonight? The one guy who could have helped. By the
way, before I get started, if anybody needs anything at their tables,
speak
slowly and clearly on into your table numbers and somebody from the
N.S.A.
Will be right over with a cocktail.

Mrs. Smith, ladies and gentlemen of the press corps, Mr. President and
first
lady, my name is Stephen Colbert and it's my privilege tonight to
celebrate
our president. He's no so different, he and I. We get it. We're not
brain
backs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the fact (police). We go
straight from the gut, right sir? That's where the truth lies, right
down
here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut
than
you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going
to
say I did look it up, and that's not true. That's but you looked it up
in a
book.

Next time look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our
nervous system works. Every night on my show, the Colbert report, I
speak
straight from the gut, ok? I give people the truth, unfiltered by
rational
argument. I call it the no fact zone. Fox News, I own the copyright on
that
term.

I'm a simple man with a simple mind, with a simple set of beliefs that I
live by. Number one, I believe in America. I believe it exists.

My gut tells me I live there. I feel that it extends from the Atlantic
to
the Pacific, and I strongly believe it has 50 states. And I cannot wait
to
see how "the Washington Post" spins that one tomorrow. I believe in
democracy. I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until
China
figures out a way to stamp it out in plastic for three cents a unit.

In fact, ambassador, welcome, your great country makes our happy meals
possible. I said it's a celebration. I believe the government that
governs
best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we
have
set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is
possible -- I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was
magical.
And though I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the
right
to their own religion, be it Hindu, Jewish or Muslim. I believe our
infinite
paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
Ladies and gentlemen, I believe it's yogurt. But I refuse to believe
it's
not butter. Most of all I believe in this president.

Now, I know there's some polls out there saying this man has a 32%
approval
rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know
that
polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are
thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias.

So, Mr. President, pay no attention to the people that say the glass is
half
full. 32% means the glass -- it's important to set up your jokes
properly,
sir. Sir pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty,
because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that
glass is
my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash.

Folks, my point is that I don't believe this is a low point in this
presidency. I believe it is just a lull, before a comeback.

I mean, it's like the movie "Rocky." The president is Rocky and Apollo
Creed
is everything else in the world. It's the 10th round. He's bloodied, his
corner man, Mick, who in this case would be the Vice President, and he's
yelling cut me, dick, cut me, and every time he falls she say stay down!
Does he stay down? No. Like Rocky he gets back up and in the end he --
actually loses in the first movie. Ok. It doesn't matter.

The point is the heart-warming story of a man who was repeatedly
punched in
the face. So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of
Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does
that
not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing?
Think
about it. I haven't.

I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things.
Not
only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and
rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong
message,
that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the
most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.

Now, there may be an energy crisis. This president has a very
forward-thinking energy policy. Why do you think he's down on the ranch
cutting that brush all the time? He's trying to create an alternative
energy
source. By 2008 we will have a mesquite powered car.

And I just like the guy. He's a good joe. Obviously loves his wife,
calls
her his better half. And polls show America agrees. She's a true lady
and a
wonderful woman. But I just have one beef, ma'am. I'm sorry, but this
reading initiative. I've never been a fan of books. I don't trust them.
They're all fact, no heart. I mean, they're elitist telling us what is
or
isn't true, what did or didn't happen. What's Britannica to tell me the
Panama Canal was built in 1914. If I want to say it was built in 1941,
that's my right as an American. I'm with the president, let history
decide
what did or did not happen.

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he
stands.
He believes the same thing Wednesday, that he believed on Monday, no
matter
what happened Tuesday. Events can change, this man's beliefs never will.

And as excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to
be
surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the
exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story, the
President's side and the Vice President's side.

But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on N.S.A.
wiretapping
or secret prisons in Eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very
important reason, they're superdepressing. And if that's your goal,
well,
misery accomplished.

Over the last five years you people were so good over tax cuts, W.M.D.
intelligence, the affect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to
know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good
times, as far as we knew.

But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works. The President
makes decisions, he's the decider. The Press Secretary announces those
decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make,
announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go h

Yeah, it really would have taken some balls to say all that stuff and you could tell he was a little nervous, but dear mister president was the reddest in the room. You have to credit Bush for really not paying attention to the media. If he did, he never would have shown.