A limerick is a humorous verse of five lines.

Once a man from Nandee
romanced a baboon in a tree
the result was so horrid
all arse and no forehead
blue tail and a bright red gotee

Get the idea? cool, I will start and you add the next line. The person that finishes the fifth line begins the next great work poetic literature. Oh, funny is good but keep it clean. Here we go!
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My jalopy is a rolling wreck

My jalopy is a rolling wreck,
Need to give the oil a check.

My jalopy is a rolling wreck,
Need to give the oil a check.
the radiator leaks

my jalopy is a rolling wreck
need to give the oil a check
the radiator leaks
the fan belt squeaks

my jalopy is a rolling wreck
need to give the oil a check
the radiator leaks
the fan belt squeaks
but it runs , so what the heck
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While whistling a tune on a stroll

While whistling a tune on a stroll
I tripped by the track on some coal

While whistling a tune on a stroll
I slipped by the track on some coal
I skinned my knees

While whistling a tune on a stroll
I slipped by the track on some coal
I skinned my knees
bumped my head on a tree

[This message has been edited by Tucker Bolton (edited 9/30/2003).]

While whistling a tune on a stroll
I slipped by the track on some coal
I skinned my knees
bumped my head on a tree
now I'm hummin' the blues 'til it snows.

Oops - I forgot to add the first line...here goes...

There once was a horse with a hat

There once was a horse with a hat
the cows called him lazy and fat

There once was a horse with a hat
The cows called him lazy and fat
He laughed in their faces

There once was a horse with a hat
The cows called him lazy and fat
He laughed in their faces
showing his mouthful of braces

There once was a horse with a hat
The cows called him lazy and fat
He laughed in their faces
Showing his mouthfull of braces
And his breath knocked the cows over flat

There once was a girl at the Bucking Horse Sale..

There once was a girl at the Bucking Horse Sale..
red hair, green eyes, her skin fair and pale

There once was a girl at the Bucking Horse Sale..
red hair, green eyes, her skin fair and pale
When she drank a warm beer

[This message has been edited by Jill Rizk (edited 10/2/2003).]

There once was a girl at the Bucking Horse Sale..
red hair, green eyes, her skin fair and pale
When she drank a warm beer
grabbed a cowpoke by the rear

There once was a girl at the bucking horse sale
Red hair, green eyes , her skin fair and pale
When she drank a warm beer
Grabbed a cowboy by the rear
She wound up spending the night on her tail

There once was an artist named Bolton

There once was an artist named Bolton
whose artwork could be rather molten

There once was an artist named Bolton
Whose artwork could be rather molten
Inspired by life

[This message has been edited by Karen Stevenson (edited 10/3/2003).]

There once was an artist named Bolton
Whose artwork could be rather molten
Inspired by life
and his bodacious wife

There once was an artist named Bolton
Whose artwork could be rather molten
Inspired by life
and his bodacious wife
they create objects fit for a Sultan

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The bear drank Letterman's whiskey

The bear drank Letterman's whiskey
Causing this brute to get friskey

The bear drank Letterman's whiskey
Causing this brute to get friskey
The 'ol bear got so soused

The bear drank Letterman's whiskey
Causing this brute to get friskey
The 'ol bear got so soused
That he fell asleep in the house

The bear drank Letterman's whiskey
Causing this brute to get friskey
The 'ol bear got so soused
That he fell asleep in the house
And was soon whisked away to Podunksky
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Rupert's "the man" on Survivor

Rupert's "the man" on survivor
Into the swamp he jumped like a diver

Rupert's "the man" on survivor
Into the swamp he jumped like a diver
But he had on a skirt

Rupert's "the man" on survivor
Into the swamp he jumped like a diver
But he had on a skirt
with the camera he'd flirt

[This message has been edited by Tucker Bolton (edited 10/3/2003).]

Rupert's "the man" on survivor
Into the swamp he jumped like a diver
But he had on a skirt
with the camera he'd flirt
for one million bucks he did desire
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It occurred in the summer months

It occurred in the summer months
Slim start planning his winter hunts

It occurred in the summer months
Slim started planning his winter hunts
Bought some thermal jammys

It occurred in the summer months
Slim started planning his winter hunts
Bought some thermal jammys
To insulate the nooks and crannies

I don't have an end, but that last line is too funny!

It occurred in the summer months
Slim started planning his winter hunts
Bought some thermal jammys
To insulate the nooks and crannies
and remembered "wash whites separately", enough with the affronts
(good one Jill)
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She was thinking back


[This message has been edited by Sue (edited 10/5/2003).]

She was thinking back
recalled a boy named Jack

She was thinking back
Recalled a boy named Jack
These memories were so funny

[This message has been edited by Corrina (Sturdevant) Harrell (edited 10/5/2003).]

She was thinking back
Recalled a boy named Jack
These memories were so funny
He made those days of bygone sunny

She was thinking back
Recalled a boy named Jack
These memories were so funny
He made those days of bygone sunny
But Jill's spill on the hill is one memory she'd rather sack

It's about time that the Chicago Cubs

It's about time that the Chicago Cubs
stopped playing like a bunch of scrubs
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THIS POEM HAS A GOOD START. THE POEM BEFORE THIS AND A COUPLE OTHERS , NOT SO LIMERICKY SO I HAVE BROADENED THE DEFINITION A TOUCH IN AN EFFORT TO KEEP US ON THE RIGHT TRACK.

A limerick is a very structured poem that can be categorized as "short but sweet". They are usually humorous, and are composed of 5 lines, with an a/a/c/c/a rhyming pattern.


In addition, the first, second and fifth lines are usually 3
anapestic feet (2 unstressed followed by 1 stressed) each. The third and fourth lines are usually 2 anapestic feet.

OK, Get busy and finish that limerick Ken started.



[This message has been edited by Tucker Bolton (edited 10/6/2003).]

Hmmmm...I'll give it a try.....

It's about time that the Chicago Cubs
stopped playing like a bunch of scrubs
the ball it went zoom


[This message has been edited by Sue (edited 10/6/2003).]

The batter looked at his broom

And decided to head for some grub


Was that better?

You betcha! that was a literary marvel. ;o)
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A cowboy was going to France

A cowboy was going to France
And Wranglers he wore for his pants

A cowboy was going to France
And Wranglers he wore for his pants
But the size was too big

A cowboy was going to France
And Wranglers he wore for his pants
But the size was too big
Yet foie gras he does dig

A cowboy was going to France
And Wranglers he wore for his pants
But the size was too big
Yet foie gras he does dig
What a dream, he woke up on the ranch
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Old Pearl was cooking a stew

Old Pearl was cooking a stew
Threw in a possum or two

Old Pearl was cooking a stew
she threw in a possum or two
then picked at a bunion

Old Pearl was cooking a stew
she threw in a possum or two
then picked at a bunion
tossed it in with an onion

Old Pearl was cooking a stew
Threw in a possum or two
She picked at a bunion
tossed it in with an onion
PEEE-EEEW

There was a female curmudgeon

There was a female curmudgeon
she put on her make-up a'smudgen'

There was a female curmudgeon
she put on her make-up a'smudgen
Below this mask did lie

There was a female curmudgeon
she put on her make-up a'smudgen
Below this mask did lie
A face that would make you cry

There was a female curmudgeon
she put on her make-up a'smudgen
Below this mask did lie
A face that would make you cry
She could shock and scare without budgin'
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George Custer, an adventurous sort

George Custer, an adventurous sort
Into battles he did cavort

George Custer,an adventurous sort
Into battles he did cavort
With long yellow hair

George Custer, an adventurous sort
Into battles he did cavort
With long yellow hair
And an ego bizarre

George Custer, an adventurous sort
Into battles he did cavort
With long yellow hair
And an ego bizarre
thought Injun' hunting great sport
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A Fellow folks called General Miles

A fellow folks called General Miles
Known for his Indian fighting style

A fellow folks called General Miles
Known for his Indian fighting style
Road his horse down a hill
Like Buffalo Bill
Then slaughtered some crocodiles

Early to bed did he go,
With a blanket in cold packed snow.

Early to bed did he go,
With a blanket in cold packed snow.
But with holes in his socks

[This message has been edited by Jill Rizk (edited 10/10/2003).]

Early to bed did he go,
With a blanket in cold packed snow.
But with holes in his socks
his feet on warm rocks

Early to bed he did go
With a blanket in cold packed snow
Holes in his socks
His feet on warm rocks
Discomfort he did not know

He was a jolly oldtimer

He was a jolly oldtimer
a traveler, a singer and rhymer

He was a jolly old-timer
A traveler, a singer, and rhymer
But he'd heard of the West
So, he jumped on ol' Bess
And became a forty-niner.

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With gold in his pan
And sidekick named Dan

With gold in his pan
And a sidekick named Dan
He bought all his meals in a diner

As I have recently learned, thanks to Tucker and some help from the web, this present rhyme is not a limerick. A limerick is defined as:
a light or humorous verse form of 5 chiefly anapestic verses of which lines 1, 2, and 5 are of 3 feet and lines 3 and 4 are of 2 feet with a rhyme scheme of aabba

a:da-da-daah da-da-daah da-da-daah
b:da-da-daah da-da-daah

such as the following:

Condensed Story of Ms Farad
by A. P. French

Miss Farad was pretty and sensual
And charged to a reckless potential;
But a rascal named Ohm
Conducted her home -
Her decline was, alas, exponential.

and Tucker's 1st limerick that started us off:

Once a man from Nandee
romanced a baboon in a tree
the result was so horrid
all arse and no forehead
blue tail and a bright red gotee

but let's finish this one:

With gold in his pan
And a sidekick named Dan
He bought all his meals in a diner
then sat in his cushy recliner

Sue, I am soooo proud of you and everyone that is participating in this topic. Thank you all for joining in the fun. Don't stop now.

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Once a Miles Citian named Sue

Once a Miles Citian named Sue
Dressed herself to look like a ewe
But on Halloween night
She caused such a fright
And was escorted off to the zoo

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There was a young man from the sticks

There was a young man from the sticks
with hayseeds the size of bricks

There was a young man from the sticks
with hayseeds the size of bricks
When one morning he awoke

There was a young man from the sticks
with hayseeds the size of bricks
When one morning he awoke
filled his mug with a coke

There was a young man from the sticks
with hayseeds the size of bricks
When one morning he awoke
filled his mug with a coke
And began a series of tricks

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There an old lady of Hurley

There was an old lady of Hurley
Her nose hairs were long thick and curly

There was an old lady of Hurley
Her nose hairs were long thick and curly
she'd roll them in curlers


* Michael, great stuff man but one line at a time please

There was an old lady of Hurley
Her nose hairs were long thick and curly
she'd roll them in curlers
And spin them like twirlers

There was an old lady of Hurley
Her nose hairs were long thick and curly
she'd roll them in curlers
And spin them like twirlers
All that before seven-thirty

There was a dog named Ivan

There once was a dog named Ivan
that mutt was always connivin'

There once was a dog named Ivan
that mutt was always connivin'
He'd bark at the moon

and snarl like a racoon.

and snarl like a racoon.

There once was a dog named Ivan,
That mutt was always connivin',
He'd bark at the moon,
And snarl like a raccoon,
For a full food dish he'd be striven.

(Fun site; glad I stumbled onto it. CS)

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There was a young lady named May,