Dumb Christmas Jokes
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+15097) 11 years ago
What do you call a bird dog in December?
A point setter.

What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the sand?
Sandy

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Black mail

What did the sheep who witnessed the Nativity say to each other on this occasion?
"Fleece Navidad!"

What disasters could happen if you dropped the Christmas turkey?
The downfall of Turkey, the breakup of China and the other throw of
Greece

Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Christmas ball?
It was a moth ball!

How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?
Chick to chick

Santa always finishes delivering all the toys to the children just in the St. Nick of Time.

When the salt and the pepper say "Hi!" to each other, they are passing on Season's Greetings.

When you cross Father Christmas with a detective, you get Santa Clues.

What is the ghost called that hangs around Santa's Workshop?
A North Pole-tergiest!

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log.

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!

What do reindeer sing to Santa Claus on his birthday?
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

What does St. Nick's appearance signify?
The presents of Christmas

How many reindeer does Santa Have?
10 Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Rudoph (the one with the red nose) and Olive (Olive the other reindeer)

Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?
No, you can have turkey like everyone else

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because the angel had said, "No L!"

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile toe

People who tell jokes on December 25 might be called?
Christmas cards

At Christmas we always exchange presents. I exchange the one she gives me, she exchanges the one I give her.

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad

How do snowmen travel around?
By iceicle

How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
Don't feed it!

How long should a reindeer's legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground!

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
Merry Christmas to Ewe!
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Posted by Steve Craddock (+2738) 11 years ago
Lump o' coal for you, Richard. And you were soooo close to being on the Good List this year!
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Posted by Gunnar Emilsson (+17752) 10 years ago
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Christmas and says," I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Christmas and paying their own way."
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Posted by Skidoorulz (+62) 10 years ago
I think the cats name would be Sandy Claws.
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