ok so me and my bf broke up about a week ago. he has been in some hot water lately. im pretty sure he loves me, and i love him. but its getting a little complicated with parents, friends and us. see he kinda got in trouble cuz of me once and another cuz he sorta cheated on me, but he has also talked a lot about our future together. so im not sure what to do. one of my friends said to just wait it out and not talk to him at all and wait and see if he will come back to me. and if he does, then he really does love me. does anyone have any other advice, cuz i really like this guy, and really dont want to lose him, but im so confused it makes things hard and hurt.

Run. Run like the wind.

Dear English Major. Listen to the other Bob.

Finally, the assembled wisdom of milescity.com can be used for the greater good.

Tell us more. We need details if we are to help you help yourself.

For one thing, WHY IN THE WORLD would you want to post your personal problems on this site??????? One can only infer from your post and choice in posting this that you must be a glutton for punishment.

That said, what little info you have written, my motto is if he cheats on you once, he'll cheat on you again. Follow Bob's advice--run and never look back. There are better people out there.

[This message has been edited by TK (9/28/2010)]

Having a boyfriend is not the be all and end all of life. Work on school. Cultivate your friendships as opposed to your "relationship." Get those little projects done you've been putting off.

Then, as the weeks pass, re-evaluate. Maybe he is worth saving. Maybe he is trash. But step back (and stop having sex) until you are sure.

In order for us to dispense good advice, first you need to post a picture of yourself here in a bathing suit here in this thread, so we can collectively assess your degree of hotness.

Then we can better advise you on whether you should hook up with your boyfriend again or not.

<But step back (and stop having sex) until you are sure.>

Amorette promoting abstinence.... now THAT is different!

I am for abstinence if he is a jackass.

Remember, Richard, 32 years with the same husband. Met him when I was 18 and been together ever since.

Listen to both Bobs and Amorette.
Ignore Gunnar.
Use a condom.

And finally,

DON'T EVER ASK FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE ON THIS FORUM AGAIN! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? HAVE YOU EVER READ THIS FORUM?

[This message has been edited by Wendy Wilson (9/28/2010)]

First of all, I would be getting checked for a STD because if he cheated on you once who knows what other girls he has slept with. Second, he will cheat on you again.
Third, sounds like a lot of drama to be with one guy who doesn't seem to care enough to be with only you.
My thoughts, move on because it won't get any better.

Aside from the other advice, it's pretty simple -- once a cheater, always a cheater. Leave the trash at the curb.

I don't want to make light of your feelings. You're confused, scared, probably heartbroken. Picture your life 5 or 10 years from now, if you stay with him. Multiply all the problems you've been having in the relationship. Is this what you want in your future?
If he cheated once, he will cheat again and again! If he lied to you, he will lie over and over!
If I were you, I would get away from him and begin thinking of yourself; not as part of a twosome, but you alone. Get your education. Get your career, your own place. Plan and design your life to attract the new, wonderful opportunities and changes. Take great care of yourself and everything in your life. This break-up was probably the best thing that could happen!
This makes way for the new you! Just wash that man right out of your hair!
Hope this helps.

Sometimes it takes us a while to grow up. Meanwhile BE CAREFUL and don't ruin your life.
Every little thing you do, even the tiniest choice, can change everything forever.

jeff is right we are a product of our decisions im not very educated but i can say that im 31 and devorced because i grew up way too fast and now there are two wonderfull babies out there going through hell from a split home. my view is a relationship is a partnership based on 1 person respecting another persons life.... be kind and love yourself things will work out as they should regardless of how you want them too.

I'm sure Gunnar is right. If you post a picture, we'll be able to tell you whether or not your boyfriend will cheat again.

I hope the people asking for photos are joking. How a woman or man looks has NOTHING to do with how she should be treated in a relationship. Humans are the only species of animals that who we are attracted to varies greatly from one individual to another. Calls for a photo is just small minds looking for a way to humiliate someone in a public forum, more a statement of their sad state then anything relevant to a relationship.

Lighten up, Steve. It's a joke.

I'm certain I speak for everyone when I say that professional quality photographs are the best way to gauge someone's potential in life and love. Could anyone suggest a photographer to take care of this so we can help this poor girl out?

Do i hear a second for the BigDryBug? As I recall, "glamour" photography was one of his hobbies.

[This message has been edited by Bridgier (9/29/2010)]

The only problem is that jokes like that are what cause young women to question their worth if they are not the perfect current body trend. This cause emotional problems of all kinds including anorexia, bulimia and getting in to destructive relationships as a way to validate their worth.

BigDryBug is a good choice for this assignment.

Guys deal with emotional issues by trying to be humorous, so I'll give these guys the benefit of the doubt. They're really just trying to cheer you up.
First of all, I do applaud you for asking for advice, because most young people don't think older people know anything about "love"- after all, we're OLD!
I hope everyone will be nice to you since you have put yourself out there so openly.
My free advice is pretty much in line with all the rest-take time to learn about yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company & what makes you special.
Someone advised me once to sit down and make a list of words describing yourself (GOOD, POSITIVE, UPLIFTING words). If I were you, I would start with "courageous" since you went to this forum for relatioship advice!
It seemed a hard thing to do at the time, making me realize how seldom we descibe ourselves in a positive light, but do it! It's worth it! Good luck!

I agree with sdrew's advice; "My free advice is pretty much in line with all the rest-take time to learn about yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company & what makes you special." I do have one piece to add to that.........GET RID OF THE BUM! HE WILL CONTINUE HURTING YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES.
And don't confuse attraction, infatuation or want with love.

Peace out. (This is the kind of thing the young kids say when they've finished talking)

I once knew a young girl of 18. She was dating an older guy who had been in "a little trouble". As she told me she was on her way to pick him up from court ordered rehab I told her what I will tell you. "ARE YOU NUTS? You have your whole life in front of you.. Why would you want to tie yourself down to someone who has already brought problems into your life?"

She didn't listen. She thought she could change him. Yep...right. Sure.

She now has two children by him...never married. Started doing drugs with him. Lost her kids for a while. Now she's trying to rebuild her life.

So...again I will say...You have your whole life in front of you. Do not throw it away. Relationships are hard enough when you start on even ground.

You have my best wishes. I hope you think about this very seriously.

And ignore the asses comments about pictures and how your looks determine if you will be cheated on again. Those are the kind of guys your boyfriend will grow up to be!! RUN! Run far away!

College girl: You are in a place where you are tied up in an emotional little ball right now. All you can think about is "I love him" and "How can I get him back?" Please step away from him and look at your life from a greater perspective. You can lift yourself from this situation. You can plan your life and make yourself the absolute best person you are capable of becoming. When you can do this, (and it will take courage), you will attract the best possible wonders to your life. Don't look for a way to stop the immediate hurt. Look for a way to grow and be open to new possibilities. There is so much more for you out there. Just say, "Hey world, here I am!"
That's my take, anyway.

Listen to the very wise webmaster...."once a chater always a cheater" is absolutely true....they just learn to get better at the lies.

....still waiting for pics.......

'She now has two children by him...never married. Started doing drugs with him. Lost her kids for a while. Now she's trying to rebuild her life.'

Kacey. That example is practically the norm these days.

It might be the norm in your world but it's not in mine. Complacency is not a good thing. Our world becomes what we allow it to become.

I have high hopes for college girl, since she has had the good sense not to post a response to any of this.

Hopefully because her parents stepped in and did their job. Hopefully.

Maybe college girl was just using us for a sociology class project.

Or was one of our trolls starting Yet Another Silly Discussion.