Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky!

When the boogie man goes to bed...he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Chuck was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" Chuck received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Superman wears Chuck Norris PJ's

Chuch Norris' tears can cure cancer, its to bad Chuck Norris doesnt cry

In a fight between Superman and Chuck Norris, Superman would be a no show.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.


When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Only once.

Chuck Norris is nothing but a puss! If he is as great as everybody says he is, then he would be here slamming my head into my keyboa.....
asccvaknzsiyvuoiszcr08342q7t5cq13 lij132cuhv t150cslknscvl mi908sw4c5252w45cyjx dkj;zdbzc sersc cerwgopuscv n

If the world was to come to an end.....Chuck Norris would be all alone.

Stephen Hawking and Chuck Norris were debating quantum physics, Stephen disagreed with Chuck...... hence the wheelchair.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down.

[This message has been edited by tom regan (3/29/2013)]

They had to re-name the Virgin Islands after Chuck Norris visited.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you! If you can't see Chuck Norris, you're seconds away from death!

Chuck Norris taught a cat to play fetch

Little known medical fact:

Chuck Norris invented the caesarean section when he successfully roundhouse kicked his way out of his mother's uterus.