When children get caught up in divorced parents
Posted by Scott & Mickey Maas (+70) 11 years ago
Divorce is never easy for anyone. People get hurt, families are torn apart, lives are forever changed, and children often get caught in the middle of an ugly situation.
Speaking from my own personal experience, I could never understand why a parent would purposely try to sabotage the relationship of the children involved, with the non-custodial parent. As if there isn't enough adjustments the child(ren) are having to deal with, some parents have to add to putting the children in the middle of the adults problems and forcing them to "choose" who is a better parent.
When I divorced my ex-wife, I did not divorce my children. I never felt the need to have my children "pick" sides on issues that they were mostly too young to understand at the time. What is wrong with the children loving everyone? Children should not be expected to "divorce" themselves from relatives, the other parent, or be expected to "hate" the new stepmom or stepdad just b/c the other parent isn't willing to accept the other parent has moved on. Only an insecure parent would demand that their children love them "more". Only an insecure parent would intentionally make the other parent look "bad" in the eyes of the very children that love them. Any parent that takes minor children and has them making phone calls or sending emails of hate towards anyone, should be ashamed to call themselves a parent. All Kids want is to be comfortable no matter which home they are living in or visiting and to feel loved by everyone involved.
The custodial parent should NEVER prevent the non-custodial parent from having a healthy relationship with the child(ren). That relationship is between the child(ren) and the parent and they should be allowed to bond without interference on the custodial parents part.
I do believe that if the non-custodial parent sees actions in the home of the custodial parent that is detremental to the lifestyle, behavior, mental, or physical welfare of that child....I believe they have every right to do what they can to protect that child.
A PARENT should never put a child in the position of having to decide which parent is "right" and which is "wrong". We have court systems for that.
This is a huge problem in our society today and we are developing these "children of divorced parents" into a life that will effect them long after we are gone.
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Posted by C.Kee (+370) 11 years ago
When my sister's husband divorced her (for her best friend), they used money to draw the 5 yr old away from his mom. What 5 yr old can resist everything he wants - point and he gets it (stepmommy had lots of $). Thirty years later, we have a grown man that has problems with what he did to his mother; he vows never to get married, never have children, is in counseling...you get the picture. He grew up away from his mother with two drunks for parents, that beat on each other. He can't shake the guilt for choosing $ over his mom even though he was only five. His father lives with regret now. All this to be selfish to keep his son and remain a happy little family - without the mom. What my sister went through and continues to go through with her son is sad.
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Posted by mac01 (+17) 11 years ago
I like how parents think that there children should love them know matter what they do. Coming from a divorced home I new right from wrong and why my parents got divorced. Yes I did choose sides. Nothing that either of my parents said made me change my mind. You ever herd of don't lie cheat or steal. You might think it is a small lie to your child but in the end it is a huge lie. Childern often times think after a divorce they lied to me once so are they going to lie to me again. What about child support? If you don't support your child why should they love you. How about if you don't have custody of the kids and get married the other person has kids and you supoort them more then your own. I also been around where the divorced parent think they have done no wrong and every chance they get they try to win over the publics eye to make it look like the other parent has turned the child against them.
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Posted by Scott & Mickey Maas (+70) 11 years ago
ckee:
Our heart goes out to your nephew as he now struggles in his adult life because of the decisions that were made in his childhood. We are glad to hear that he is in counseling, he atleast will have a better chance at life if he understands his feelings and why he feels the way he does.

maco1:
You have some very good points. I am proud to say that I myself, have always paid child support and when I became permanently disabled, my children began receiving social security disability in lieu of child support. I do disagree with you however, that a child should not be allowed to love their parent just because that parent has not "supported" them. In the state where I live, a parent can not interfere with visitation rights between the child(ren) and the other parent, just because the non custodial parent does not pay child support. Although it makes it tough for the parent not receiving the child support to be able to provide the necessities in life for the child, I don't think the child should be penalized from having a relationship with that parent.
There is the another side to the coin as well. You have a parent who receives child support, lives with her mom for quite a few years, takes off for months at a time with new companions while "grandma" watches the children, buys the fanciest clothes she can (while her kids wear clothing they've outgrown the 2 years before...and stained), and gives her mom absolutely no money to help with food, clothing or any other necessitities, has her hair done at the salon monthly, goes for maniures and pedicures (while the kids go to school looking as though it's been a month since they've had a bath). This parent uses the "child support" money for her "fun" money. This parent does not work so the only income she gets is child support from two children. So really, who is the better parent? The one who refuses to pay it (for whatever reason), or the one who squanders it on their own personal self? I think neither.
It is ALWAYS the children who suffer the most and I think it is the responisibility of BOTH parents to give their child the opportunity to have a realationship with BOTH parents and when that child becomes of age, they can decide for themselves if they want too continue that relationship. Children are not "pawns" and should not be used to "negotiate" terms of visitation or anything else by the custodial parent.
I do not believe that any parent should involve any child of any age into the "domestic" issues at hand in divorce. The only thing that child should be thinking about is "when do I get to visit my mom/dad again". Kids worry enough about whether it is their fault for the divorce or whether they will still be loved, why should they have to worry about figuring out whether it was mommy or daddy's fault too? Just my thoughts.
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Posted by Kacey (+3153) 11 years ago
Parents who use their children as pawns need to burn in hell. Those that lie to the system, whether it's about child support or child abuse also need to burn in hell. And the system needs to smarten up. Although it's too late for some children that have already died, it could save others.
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Posted by Christen LeBlanc Ramsey (+277) 11 years ago
i am not from a divorced family, but i did marry into one and my extended family has had divorces.

it should always be understood that the parents of children will forever be co-parents regardless of their relationship. there is a reason that parents are no longer together; new spouses should not air their jealous feelings around children (grown children too.)

also, your children are individuals and capable of making their own judgment calls (at certain ages.) for those of you who feel that your children were misled, perhaps so. or perhaps they are just jerks.
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Posted by Scott & Mickey Maas (+70) 11 years ago
Kacey & Christen:
Well stated.
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Posted by mac01 (+17) 11 years ago
Like I stated before I child knows write from wrong they know not to lie cheat or steal. For most people that get divorced they do at least 2 things they lie and cheat. The child knows that. Why should they be obligated to love you if they know right from wrong. Scott&Mickey I realy do not care about your current situation. There is more to the story than your side and the otherside and frankley I do not care because who is lying here know one knows. Like I have said I have seen it time and time again one parent does not like the other so they bring up dirt about the other one any chance they get and then the other is seen as the good parent that does not get to see there kids. I have also seen alot of times since the child new right from wrong and they did not want anything to do with the other parent and that the parent they did not want to see blames it on the other and hence they are brain washing them.
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Posted by C.Kee (+370) 11 years ago
Kacey & Christen, very well said.
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Posted by Smiley (+853) 11 years ago
I think too many people get divorced. When you GET MARRIED it is forever. It isn't something that you can just say "Oh well, this isn't working, time to move on." I understand in cases of cheating and abuse, maybe not so much cheating. There are counselors, there are people to help you. There is separation. If you think that you are going to get divorced, don't get married in the first place. Know your spouse before you jump in.

It's really simple. I wish more people would put some value on marriage.
UGH.
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Posted by Wendy Wilson (+6171) 11 years ago
I posted this on another thread but it should really go here.

Frankly, I think that airing dirty laundry, while wildly entertaining, is not always the right thing to do regardless of truth of either party's position. When children are involved sometimes we just have to "suck it up" and act like adults. None of the Maases posting on this site have done that.
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Posted by howdy (+4949) 11 years ago
Totally agree with Wendy...Enough already people!!! This has to be hurtful to the kids involved and you know they are reading this site daily for more postings...so Mr. Maas, please drop the subject...
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Posted by polar bear (+515) 11 years ago
All parties involved in the airing of the dirty laundry do not have healthy boundaries. I feel so bad for the children of these "adults".
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Posted by Scott & Mickey Maas (+70) 11 years ago
Divorce, and children caught up in divorce is a REAL problem and prevelant in todays society. I don't expect that ALL of you will be interested in reading this article, nor did I expect that everyone was going to agree with what I've said. It IS a topic that people might benefit from discussing in a "less airing of dirty laundry" manner. I'll work on that.
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Posted by polar bear (+515) 11 years ago
It is a real problem and fighting in public has got to be horribly distressing to the children. I see all the adults who posted about this as irresponsible and not terribly stable.
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Posted by Skye (+386) 11 years ago
Totally agree with polarbear. The ones of you airing your dirty laundry about your lives is childish...and high school maturity level. All for attention and sympathy.
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Posted by Bruce Helland (+592) 11 years ago
Yes, lets all bury our heads in the sand and pretend these problems dont exist. Or perhaps we could think, discuss, educate and learn in the process. Maybe...
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Posted by bluetooth (+146) 11 years ago
Actually, I think its sad that one parent has to act as if he can do no wrong and is the perfect parent and at the same time he is trashing the other parent. Your kids will most likely read this if they haven't already and believe me you aren't doing yourself or them any favors. If your kids are choosing not to speak with you which was my understanding from a previous post, I can now fully understand why. For your kids sake, please take your rant to a counselors office behind closed doors.
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Posted by polar bear (+515) 11 years ago
Bruce, teaching kids about divorce generically is one thing, but doing it this way is totally dysfunctional and the fallout on the kids will be huge.
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Posted by Bruce Helland (+592) 11 years ago
When you are publicly potrayed as the 'villian' and do not say anything to defend yourself to many are quick to paint you in that light. I saw no names mentioned in this thread so that is why I posted. Do you really believe this 'parent vs. parent' conflict doesnt exist? Perhaps by shedding light on this problem more divorced parents will realize the damage that is being done.
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Posted by howdy (+4949) 11 years ago
If someone is posting under their real names, after having an entire thread about them and their marital situation, then I think that is likely to be abusive to their children, if they keep referring to their own marriage which Mr. Maas did in this thread earlier...that is anything but innocently referring to the situation in general...Apples and Oranges...
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Posted by mac01 (+17) 11 years ago
howdy there is more than one side of the story. Both the parents and kids. I disagree with starting a new thread to gain sympothy after you trashed your ex in another. just my opinion
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Posted by howdy (+4949) 11 years ago
Mac, I disagreed as well...you misunderstood me I think...Either way it is airing dirty laundry and not appropriate...
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Posted by Gunnar Emilsson (+17663) 11 years ago
Hmmm....I would agree with Bruce and disagree most vehemently with "Howdy" and "polarbear".....what anyone wants to post and talk about on milescity.com within the guidelines set by the webmaster who owns this site is fine by me....and if it promotes some discussion that helps others who find themselves in a similar situation, so much the better. That's what a community discussion board is for.

What really grates on my merves, is when santimonious holier-than-thou old biddies like howdy and polar bear seek to impose their own moral judgements on the rest of the mc.com community....even on those who post under their own names, not anonymous handles. That really galls me.
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Posted by Brian A. Reed (+6114) 11 years ago
Smiley wrote:
I think too many people get divorced. When you GET MARRIED it is forever. It isn't something that you can just say "Oh well, this isn't working, time to move on." I understand in cases of cheating and abuse, maybe not so much cheating. There are counselors, there are people to help you. There is separation. If you think that you are going to get divorced, don't get married in the first place. Know your spouse before you jump in.

Smiley - With all due respect, that is a very naive and judgmental stance you're taking there. People don't get married thinking they're going to get divorced. Remarkably few people have that sort of prescience. Frankly, it's very Pollyanna to believe that anyone does.

If you believe that your marriage is forever, more power to you. I wish you the best of luck. But your attitude applies to your marriage. It doesn't extend beyond the relationship with your spouse.

You say that too many people get divorced. I would respond by saying that too many people get married. Many people are pressured to get married "because it's the right thing to do," and it ends up being the WRONG thing to do. Marriage isn't a suicide pact. It's a civil contract. Nothing more, nothing less.

When marriage becomes one constant fight, counseling may or may not help. If it does, great. If it doesn't, one shouldn't be scoffed at for wanting out. Life is too short to live miserably. And children shouldn't be exposed to such animosity between their parents.

My ex and I got married because we had a child. It was the "right" thing to do. Had we not gotten pregnant, we likely would have broke up. But we weren't "meant for each other," but we were "meant" to have a wonderful son together.

When it got to the point where our son could witness how unhappy we were together, it was time to go our separate ways. And you know what? She is much happier now. I am much happier now. Most importantly, our son is much happier now. Instead of having two parents who love him, he has four. And both my ex and myself are living with the people we are "meant" to be with.

Your my-size-fits-all attitude works very well for you. It doesn't work for everyone.
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Posted by howdy (+4949) 11 years ago
well Gunnar, consider me property chastised...this old biddy will not post on this subject again...
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Posted by polar bear (+515) 11 years ago
This "old biddy" believes the behavior demonstrated here constitutes a type of emotional child abuse and I will continue to speak against that. There are far, far too many children damaged at the hands of their parents.
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Posted by Gunnar Emilsson (+17663) 11 years ago
Revenge of the biddies!

My issue is not against your opinions....my issue is your attempt to stifle conversation amongst adults who seem to genuinely want to learn about these problems. I think its best for all to air their problems in a forum like this, should they chose to do so, without the cacophony of "Think of the families involved!" that seems to ring in this forum far too often.

This is not 1952. Grampa can't have his way with little Cindy Lou, and have all you old-fashioned types try to cover it up, because you don't want the other family members exposed to the talk.

People need to live by their actions and accept responsibility for the consequences.
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+15076) 11 years ago
Brian: Great post, very well stated!
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Posted by howdy (+4949) 11 years ago
Gunnar, far be it from me to stifle any conversation...I was just getting sick of the "cancer from the lady with 5 kids" being discussed ad naseum...As Wendy stated earlier in this thread which I agreed with whole heartedly, the airing of dirty laundry is getting very old...So I guess you are calling Wendy an "old biddy" too LOL...OH well I will wear the label proudly and call you an "old fart" LOL....
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Posted by howdy (+4949) 11 years ago
by the way, Gunnar, in 1952, I was 7 years old...also have always been in favor of exposing anything hurtful to children...I don't think this thread was about that...anything but...
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Posted by Gunnar Emilsson (+17663) 11 years ago
1. True, Wendy, too, is an old biddy.

2. Amend that to Grumpy Old Fart.

....but Wendy just posted once to let her feelings known, and that was that. Fair enough, although I disagree. Howdy, you and polar bear posted a couple of more times.....and, I picked on you two, as you both have posted on milescity.com for quite some time.

I can understand the usual losers who pop in and say, "Quit talking trash about the family! Delete this thread!"....I expect that from the friends of cat killers....but when you two promote ending a thread just because you do not like the topic.....that smacks to me of censorship.

As much as I bow at that alter of the second amendment, the first amendment is far more important. No more censorship! End the tyranny!
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Posted by howdy (+4949) 11 years ago
Never once did I say "delete this thread"...I said this airing of dirty laundry was in bad taste and I still believe that...Obviously your taste trumps mine in this instance...the reason being, I am not able to argue too much these days...So have it your way and believe what you will...Good luck...
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Posted by Bruce Helland (+592) 11 years ago
Using children as pawns in a divorce is child abuse IMHO. Not discussing it is the same as condoning this abuse. Open discussion sheds light and may disuade this behavior from occuring. Shaking your head and muttering 'for shame' does nothing to address this behavior.
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Posted by Sissy (+17) 11 years ago
Divorce is never easy for anyone. People get hurt, families are torn apart, lives are forever changed, and children often get caught in the middle of an ugly situation.


In having read this article, it appears to me that the first paragraph stated above, was IN fact, the whole purpose of Mr. Maas' article. Because it was written shortly after another article that bombshelled the website for a couple of days, it should not take away from the point of what Mr. Maas had to say. Not only has Mr. Maas tried to make the public aware of a topic that is prevelant in todays society, but he was allowing others who had words of wisdom to share as well. Best selling authors sell their books on many a person based on their life, and it includes their dirty laundry as well. If Mr. Maas had written under an alias, no one would have associated his story with the previous story.
I personally know Mr. & Mrs. Maas and they are anything but the nutjobs, loonies, or bad parents that some of you have called them. I use their computer, as I write this, since mine is not working, and have got to know them quite well. They are good people. I see nothing in this article that mentions any names and it talks about what custodial parent/non-custodial parents should/shouldn't be doing when it comes to the CHILDREN.
Because Mr. Maas chose to write his story from what he has experienced, it does not make his story any less credible in my opinion.
I've noticed from being fairly new to this site, that there are a few selected people on here that seem to want to control what the topic of discussions should or should not be. I certainly don't read the articles that don't interest me and I don't feel the need to run off others who disagree with how I feel.
maco1-to claim that Mr. Maas wrote this article after trashing his ex to gain sympathy is pretty innacurate about the type of person he is. Pretty judmental on your part as well, since you don't know him.
Bluetooth- I think Mr. Maas made it quite clear in his forum of what he felt was right and wrong. Not once did I hear him say "i was the perfect parent." It seems he was talking from "experience" and what he found that was or was not helpful when it came to the children involved in divorce. It seems he tried to get his point across by using his own experiences as the topic.
Instead of those of you chastising Mr. Maas for his article, how about offering some words of wisdom on the problem at hand and stop pretending if we don't talk about the problem, it will go away.
If Mr. Maas helps ONE divorced couple to see what involving the children in divorce disputes does, then I say, it was well worth it.
I remember reading that the children involved were banned from this site, along with the EX. However if they are still reading I do not feel that Mr. Maas bashed anyone in this article. I too was a divorced parent and EVERYTHING that Mr. Maas stated in his article is what ANY judge will tell the couple upon granting their divorce. Our judge specifially talked about preventing the children from having a realtionship with BOTH parents as being wrong, denying visits, "bribing" kids to see one parents view over another, etc.
Last but not least, just remember the old saying, "unless you have walked a mile in that persons shoes, you can't honestly say how you would have reacted either."

Sissy
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Posted by C.Kee (+370) 11 years ago
Nicely stated Sissy
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Posted by Wendy Wilson (+6171) 11 years ago
Gunnar,

I know how much you love peering into the dark closets of other people's lives. Between that and making beer you don't have much else in your life, I suppose. I'm not sure if I'd rather be an old biddy or an grumpy old fart. I guess I could be both if the situation warranted.
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Posted by jack johnson (+15) 11 years ago
Does it not seem strange that these people (Mr Maas Mrs Maas Etc, Keep popping up and talking about this whole suituation? Let it go people! I for one had many laughs at your expense, we all did. I honestly dont believe any of you because you all seem insane. Let us have a our site back and you all can find another site to trash.
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Posted by Sissy (+17) 11 years ago
I am not aware that ANY of the Maas' continue to comment on this site, are you privy to information that the rest of us are not?
Scandals, (or airing of dirty laundry) as some of you wish to refer to it, dates back as far as Thomas Jefferson and includes many well known people such as Marilyn Monroe, McKinzie Phillips, Oprah, Anna Nicole Smith, John Edwards, Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, Corey Haim, Heath Ledger, and the list goes on and on. Just because the people involved in writing this article are not "famous" people, does not mean their story (or comments) are of any less importance to our society.
Instead of wasting your time trying to determine if these people involved are "nuts" or not, how about focusing on the real issue at hand? How about your opinions on how to address the real problem of children caught up in the middle of divorces? Nobody cares who believes these people, but I'm sure alot of people could benefit from your "solutions" to this problem that effects MANY families.
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Posted by polar bear (+515) 11 years ago
Jerry Springer comes to MC.com, it appears.
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+15076) 11 years ago
Am I the only poster from Wyoming that understands the concept of paragraphs?
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Posted by Wendy Wilson (+6171) 11 years ago
jack, jack, jack. Why else do people tune in?
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Posted by Smiley (+853) 11 years ago
"I chime in with the haven't you people ever heard of closing the God d**m door, no it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality."
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Posted by Maryann McDaniel (+255) 11 years ago
During the divorce in 1999, my adopted kids stood by their father after over 30 years of marriage when they (kids) were in HS. Their dad had a mistress for three years, refused counseling, and refused to give her up. I was devastasted. He married her about two years later. Neither of us brought up the mistress issue, but within one year of our divorce they (the kids) quickly figured it out. I have rarely talked to them about it, but I think they respected fact I was able to let go of the issue and did not bad mouth their dad. (Both either ran away from home or became homeless -- a very sad situation). I again have a relationship with them.

They, after about 10 years, have no relationship with their father. Their trust was broken. It is pretty sad. I talk to their dad weekly and he (although a fairly brilliant attorney) can't seem to understand what happened.

My new husband and I are our kids' family, and that includes what we call "ex-laws, in-laws, and out-laws." We celebrate Christmas, birthdays, and holidays with my hubby's first wife and her extended family, his kids, my kids, etc. We go on vacation with these dear people. I never bad-mouth my ex, nor do any of these dear friends.

My husband is often asked to give the eulogy for his ex-mother-in-laws, ex-inlaws, out-laws, and the preachers come up afterwards and ask, "why are you not a preacher?"

My current husband is a blessing who taught me what it means to forgive. I hope others can learn from this story.
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Posted by Gunnar Emilsson (+17663) 11 years ago
Wendy, polar bear, and howdy:

If you are so offended by this thread, why do you continue to read and post in it?

That is the only point I am trying to make.

Others seem to be gaining some benefit by this thread by posting their stories and opinions. Why not let them be?

There are plenty of threads here that I have no interest in. Do I post in them? No. I could easily post in an apple thread, "Kyle! Bart! Richard! Josh! Nobody gives a rats ass about Steve Jobs!"....but I don't.

The only reason why I posted in this thread (which I really don't care about), was because it seemed to be an offshoot of THE BEST THREAD EVER. And I was offended by your attempts to stifle a conversation that many users seem to be getting a real benefit from.

Its a little thing called empathy.

And, Wendy, I don't need to peer in dark closets....at milescity.com, its all out laid out in the open.
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Posted by polar bear (+515) 11 years ago
So only those who agree with a thread should post on it?
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Posted by Gunnar Emilsson (+17663) 11 years ago
In a word, yes.

You seem to be slightly confused, polar bear. Internet discussion forum etiquette really isn't that hard to understand. So, let me try to elucidate with an example:

I start a thread in the National News, Politics, and Issues Forum and post, "President Obama rocks!"

Richard replys, "No he doesn't! He's a muslim pirate!"

You reply, "Enough about Obama! Please stop this thread!"

There, Richard disagrees with the post, but not the thread. Its okay for Richard to post, and it contributes to the discussion.

For you, no one is holding a gun to your head, forcing you to read the National News, Politics, and Issues Forum. You should've just shut up and ignored the thread.

Capiche?
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Posted by howdy (+4949) 11 years ago
I was objecting to Mr. Maas and his continual posting about his family divorce after having a very public discussion with his daughter and ex-wife...even someone else on the other thread said to him "enough already, not every thing is about you"....Certainly wasn't objecting to the thread itself...You misunderstood me, Gunnar...
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Posted by Gunnar Emilsson (+17663) 11 years ago
Well, for that, I apologize, howdy.

I do think you misjudged the Maas's intentions, though.
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Posted by howdy (+4949) 11 years ago
I would certainly hope you were right but I think that is what Wendy was objecting to as well...that is how it came across to many folks, I think, and apology accepted...
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Posted by Wendy Wilson (+6171) 11 years ago
Gunnar,

I think you've misunderstood my intent. I'm not offended in the least by this thread. Like you, I don't post in threads I'm not interested in or are offended by. I think the Maas thread was hysterical. I was just making a comment about the maturity of those directly involved. In no way did I want to suppress communication here. Please, please don't lump me in with polar bear. I'm not that insufferable.
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Posted by howdy (+4949) 11 years ago
LOL, Wendy, that was what I found the most objectionable too (being lumped in with Polar Bear)...I will never forget the stupid spat she had with Larry and claimed he was a stalker!!!
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Posted by Amorette Allison (+11902) 11 years ago
Chiming in late because we were gone a few days but, "When you marry, it is forever," is what everyone thinks when they get married. Then people change. Circumstances change. Life changes. Should we go back to the days of "til death do you part" and force people to remain in miserable and/or abusive situations or accept that people make mistakes and change?

I say this as someone who has been married 32 years, not 2. I know what a tremendous amount of work marriage takes and know that all the work in the world won't help in some situations. I support the right of people to divorce because I know that some people are better off that way. After you have been married a few decades, I bet your opinion changes.
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Posted by C.Kee (+370) 11 years ago
Amorette,

You wrote a perfect post!!!!!

I got married at 16 and just knew I would be married "forever". No one told me that people change, circumstances change, life changes, etc. However, we are starting on our 38th year and still believe and work at that we are forever. Key word is "work at" daily.
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Posted by Sissy (+17) 11 years ago
Amorette & C.Kee,
It's refreshing to read happy endings. The fact that you addressed part of the issue in the article (divorce) without judging others, but yet offering your own personal experience (and advice) speaks of your character. Thanks for being an example to all of us.
I believe, your comments will have a far greater impact on divorced parents and the children in these divorces, more than those here looking for "correct punctuation, sentences, spelling, & paragraphs."
I salute you both.
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Posted by ike eichler (+1232) 11 years ago
We celebrated our 55th wedding anniversary over at the Holy Rosary Extended care unit last November. Unfortunatly, she was unaware of it.

All marriages will have their ups and downs, and as mentioned, it's a matter of working at it. Am sure we could have called it quits many times but hung in there.

But,as Bob L. said on another thread, we are "olds" and will die soon.
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Posted by Bruce Helland (+592) 11 years ago
Hopefully just close minded attitudes will die...
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Posted by Sissy (+17) 11 years ago
Ike,
Another success story, definately one you can be proud of. We need more of these kind of happy endings in today's society!!!
With a little hard work on the parents part, it can only benefit the children that are involved, for years to come. I'm not for divorce, but I do know that sometimes it IS for what's best for the families involved. That was the case for me as well. I agree with allowing the children involved, to have the most healthy relationship with both parents as much as possible.
Communication is the key to a successful marriage and working through all the tribulations that come with being in a relationship. When communication is impossible and friction continually disrupts family lives, a hard decision has to be made by one (or both) parties.
I've actually read this article several times and I did notice that the person who wrote it, respectfully used the term "parent" throughout the article. It doesn't appear to me that he/she was purposely being disrespectful to the other "parent" in this case. Maybe their timing of the article was not the best, but let's put aside that fact and look for the real message here.
As many of you had said, let's be the adults and help others that may be in the same situation as this person.
People really do read this forums to gain knowledge and deserve the chance to share their own personal story. A selected few just seem to want to argue about anything but the subject at hand.
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Posted by Skye (+386) 11 years ago
Here's an idea...get pregnant at 16, get a fake I.D., and get married at 17. Can anyone predict an outcome????
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