Online Dating
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Posted by Johnnie Lockett Thomas (+397) 16 years ago
I tried a trial subscription to an online dating service. After a few weeks I was presented with a "match" who could have been a clone for my late husband. I was tempted to pursue, but then I remembered an airport transportation trip that Bill and I took where one of the other passengers was a young woman who was leaving her University of Maryland professor husband and their new baby to go to California to live with an unemployed Hollywood wannabe writer, and decided I'm too chicken to communicate with the gent.

How do I know this guy isn't a mass murderer? After all, of the 3 men who have approached me here in Miles City, one was the dumbest man in town. Another is a stalker who scares the heebee jeebees out of me and the third, after asking to be introduced to me, and giving me a financial statement, was outraged when I enunciated my favorite activities as the opera, art openings, chamber music concerts and plays.

"Oh, hell" he exploded upon hearing that bit of news. "I meant what saloons do you hang out in?"

Apparently the old goat viewed me as "a woman of easy virture."

I think I'd be more comfortable with more penpal relationships like the one I have with the retired D.C. publisher from my past.

Your best thoughts on the subject are sincerely solicited.

Johnnie Lou
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Posted by Bob L. (+5096) 16 years ago
Johnnie:

Have you corresponded with the gentleman?

If I were you, I'd continue to correspond with the gentleman until you feel comfortable with meeting him in person or decide it's not worth the time and risk.

If it gets to that point, make sure you meet in a public place and you have your track shoes on. Maybe a taser gun would help too?

I've never tried the online dating thing, but know people who have. Some have done well, some not. Kinda like real-life dating, I reckon.

Best of luck to you, whatever path you choose.
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Posted by Buck Showalter (+4462) 16 years ago
Hey Johnnie,
I know from the word on the street that you are a bit of the wisened type, but this could possibly be of interest to you if you want penpal relationships with people who have led interesting lives.

It may sound completely insane, but there is a whole world of people with lots of free time, just sitting going stir crazy. You may or may not have guessed it, but they live life on "the inside." Yep, prison inmates.

I've never actually corresponded with anyone in prison, but I became aware that there are databases that make it possible. Here is one example:

http://www.ccadp.org/penpalsnew.htm

I'm guessing you're a pretty brave soul, and if someone is on death row, chances are they shouldn't be paying you any unexpected visits (hopefully). I think you should give it a shot. I would, but I'm a chicken.

I imagine that you would be privy to some pretty interesting things if you were to try it out.

I'm not joking either. I think you should try it and report back. You have the power.

[This message has been edited by Buck Showalter (edited 8/3/2005).]
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founder
Posted by Johnnie Lockett Thomas (+397) 16 years ago
Dear, dear Buck,

Regarding your suggestion.

Reveal yourself. Do you need help? The little old lady is worried about you.

I think most people who know me would agree I'm half crazy, but not totally insane. Except for my incontrovertible belief that my government will one day allow me to fly free, I have no self-destructive behavior.

By the way, are you a friend of the man who accosted me on the streets of Miles City in the summer of 1980 when I spent 5 weeks here interviewing the locals who after seeing me near the Olive Hotel every afternoon asked "What brings you to Miles City?"

"I'm a tourist."

"Oh, hell," he exploded. "I thought you was a hooker."

Hm.


Johnnie Lockett Thomas
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Posted by Sharon C (+18) 15 years ago
It's not just online daters that have to worry about conversing with a possible mass murderer. For that matter, how do we know that the person we meet on the street, in any given city, on any given day isn't a mass murderer?? If someone is a serial murderer I highly doubt we'd be able to pick them out by looking at them, or just conversing with them. Creeps are everywhere just as nice people are everywhere.

Just use your best judgment, if something doesn't seem right about someone you talk to online then you are probably right. I agree with the person above though, meeting someone in a public place is a good idea.

Happy dating!
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Posted by William S. (+73) 15 years ago
As can be attested to by the arrest of Devin Deming reported on in tonight's Star. Many of us on this site went to school with said psychopath. It shows you never can tell (although he was a creep then too).
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Posted by concerned (+13) 15 years ago
Speaking of Devin Deming...does anyone know anything about him? I'm a friend of the victim's family and want to know how this monster was walking among us.
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Posted by Marley (+61) 15 years ago
The star had an article last week.
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Posted by Ben-wah (+74) 15 years ago
Back to the subject ... if you are careful, and you can find ways to communicate other than by letter, it'll give you a chance to get to know someone.
My experience has been decent online, so far. Before I moved here, I had the chance to communicate with a few ladies, and things went rather well in most cases. I still chat with some of them, I attended the wedding of another, and I have one dear friend whom I communicate with often whom I came across about four years ago. I haven't met all of them, but I have been able to go out with and meet some others.
Whatever you do, make sure that you take your time, and if you do ever meet, it's on your turf. Make sure it's in public, and with friends around. When I met someone, it was just like that, on their terms and in familar surroundings to them. A true gentleman would not expect to do anything else.
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