Bullying in schools..does this not concern parents
Posted by Kacey (+3157) 13 years ago
A recent presentation on cyberbullying, texting, "sexting," and other emerging issues was opened to the community, but attendance was poor. Although 600 invitations were sent to parents, Regan said only six came.

Are you kidding me????

Hey, if you hide your head in the sand you can't see anything bad happen!
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Posted by Wendy Wilson (+6174) 13 years ago
My Johnnie would never send a photo of his nakedness to someone else.
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Posted by Chris Peterson (+158) 13 years ago
I received nothing in the mail yet I have a son who is a freshman. What was the criteria used to generate the 600 addresses? Technology the way it is now days, parents really need help. There are sooo many things, good things, parents can do to "keep tabs" on their kids but do not use them. Things such as Watch Dog for the cell phones, or viewing the contents of folders used for temporary internet files (and look at the time stamps). These things are VERY simple. If anybody needs suggestions or help, feel free to contact me. I have done this for a long time. From setting up accounts with specific access permissions to secure network design, I specialize in making the computer do what it is the user wishes it to do. I'm easy to find. If you wish to learn, I do not charge. However, if I am doing it for you, we'll discuss it.
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Posted by Chuck Schott (+1282) 13 years ago
They got no time, no time.
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+15535) 13 years ago
"Technology the way it is now days, parents really need help. There are sooo many things, good things, parents can do to "keep tabs" on their kids but do not use them."

This is pretty simple, just say no when the cell phone company asks if your kids need the picture messaging or text messaging capability. They won't miss what they don't have. It doesn't make sense to me to buy cell-phone for talking and then use it primarily as a typewriter.

~~~~~
I heard the other day that someone contacted the FBI about bullying at the Jr, High in MC. Sounds like there is a real problem here. What's up with that...
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Posted by Levi Forman (+3710) 13 years ago
There was a story about it in the star this week.

Cyber bullings in schools to be addressed
By Elaine Forman
Three separate assaults, following reported bullying activity, occurred at local schools in September, resulting in the formation of a Miles City Council committee to get involved.
The city's Public Safety Committee will meet at 6:30 p.m. Wednesday at City Hall to address the incidents.
Ward 2 Councilman John Uden said he called the meeting to take a proactive approach to the problem.
He encourages the public to attend the meeting. School officials have been invited also.
Miles City Police Officer Barney Murnin, who also serves as the school resource officer, said that although cyber bullying and assaults occur, this fall there has been an escalation in the events.
Murnin reports:
- In early September a boy was assaulted at Custer County District High School following an ongoing conflict. The boy required medical attention. The suspect is also a CCDHS student.
- On Sept. 23 a seventh-grade girl received minor injuries after being assaulted at Washington Middle School by an eighth-grade girl following an ongoing conflict.
- That same week a CCDHS boy was assaulted at the school by two other male students. This also was part of an ongoing conflict.
One was charged with assault and the other was charged with assault by accountability.
No names were released in any of the cases, but charges were filled in all three incidents.
Texting of insults and profanity using cellphones played a part in the cases. Murnin said that is in violation of Montana law.
Murnin said each year he gives a presentation in the fourth through eighth grades on classroom bullying.
He had been giving lessons on cyber bullying to the older children, but as younger children are getting cellphones, he will include cyber bullying lessons to those younger grades.
The students are "using technology to hurt people," he said.
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Posted by DJS (+110) 13 years ago
I was unaware of this meeting. My child goes to WMS and the stories that are relayed are disturbing. My husband and I are fortunate that our child still talks to us about alot of things. Our child has been on the receiving end of bullying this year at school. You can encourage them to "walk away" "talk to someone else" etc. but it never really stops.

My family has known Officer Murnin for a number of years. I believe he does a wonderful job with the youth of our community. However, parents have got to take responsibility for their children in order for this garbage to end.

I know.......this is what we always say when there is a conflict with the children. I realize that you can be an involved parent and do everything {right} and still have troubled children. It is the children that don't have involved parents that my heart breaks for.

Thankfully, my child knows that when bullying happens at school or anywhere else for that matter, not only will parents be there, but there are also countless Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and friends to offer support and understanding.
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Posted by Kacey (+3157) 13 years ago
I think that the reason it's happening so much is that there are parents who just don't care. So what if their child is a bully! I'm sure the other kid did something to MAKE their child retaliate! It's unfortunate but the attitude is that of someone who is an alcoholic or drug addict. It's never their fault. Someone always MAKES them do it!

When I was growing up things were a lot different. If a child did something wrong at school the parents were told. The grandparents were then told. The aunts and uncles and everyone else was told. And the parent took care of the behavior problem. Rapidly.

Granted, I do not believe in spanking or hitting children. But the fear of it sure kept most kids I knew in line. Kids today have the upper hand. All they have to do is THREATEN to run to the authorities and say they were abused by their parent. It's a sad commentary on life.

It makes me angry and sick to think of kids afraid to go to school for fear of being bullied mentally and physically.

Perhaps the bullies should spend a day sitting behind bars with their parents. The child can use the time contemplating whether he or she wants that to be their future. The parents would have time to talk with their kid!
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Posted by K. D. (+367) 13 years ago
Perhaps the bullies should spend a day sitting behind bars with their parents. The child can use the time contemplating whether he or she wants that to be their future. The parents would have time to talk with their kid!

I really like that concept. Parents need to start taking more responsibility for their children's actions. The parents also need more leeway in disciplining their child(ren), so the parents aren't afraid of retaliation from child services and what not because their brat turned them in.
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+15535) 13 years ago
Bullying isn't new. It happened to me when I went to grade school and Jr high. I suspect that some of those who hide behind fake names on this website are people that harassed me in school. I am not complaining about the way I was treated... it is, what it is, and frankly it made me a stronger person.

It isn't right that bullying is happening and it should be the stopped. It isn't a new phenomenon.

[This message has been edited by Richard Bonine, Jr (10/9/2009)]
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Posted by Denise Selk (+1668) 13 years ago
Bullying isn't new Richard, but the level of violence, especially sexual, threatened in the bullying is at a level unfathomable to prior generations.
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+15535) 13 years ago
Maybe.
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Posted by Denise Selk (+1668) 13 years ago
IMHO, people who dismiss what is going on today as simply the schoolyard taunts of yesteryear are hiding their heads in the sand, deliberately or not. It is no longer the cries of pizza-face, heifer and four-eyes, or the threats of wedgies, swirlies and stolen lunch money. Like the rest of society, children and teens have become increasingly sexualized, and so have the threats. The worry is where the line will be crossed from simple threat to action.
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Posted by howdy (+4953) 13 years ago
If memory serves me correctly, wasn't it bullying that was blamed for the many school shootings...the kids that were bullied finally had had enough and brought their weapons to school....this subject is important IMO and should be addressed...

http://www.stateline.org/...ntId=14154

[This message has been edited by howdy (10/9/2009)]
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Posted by Nikki Logan (+287) 13 years ago
600 invitations to that meeting were sent out. The last time I knew there were 9,000 people living in Miles City and that does not count the surrounding areas where a lot of the students come from. I think that this meeting should have been made public.
I also think that a lot of the trouble is that there is no respect or common sense anymore. Children do not respect there parents from day one and they take that attitude out into the world and then you get the snowball effect. My daughter is two and I am already trying to teach her respect for not only her elders but everyone in general, and she knows that if she does something wrong that there are consequences, and when she does something right there are rewards.
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Posted by Chris Peterson (+158) 13 years ago
Howdy, you hit the bull's-eye
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Posted by Mandyrosy (+187) 13 years ago
Here is the complete story about Wednesday night's meeting from the Star.
As I understand it, 600 invitations were mailed to parents of high school students.

City, school officials discuss bullying
By AMANDA BREITBACH RAGSDALE
Star Staff Writer
A public safety meeting Wednesday evening held in response to several recent cases of youth assault and bullying was well attended by school administration and law enforcement but less so by area parents.
Miles City Council member John Uden said he called the meeting partly because he wanted the community to know what is already being done to combat bullying. Uden also said he is researching the possibility of a youth bullying ordinance to bring before the council.
Superintendent of Schools Jack Regan said bullying of all kinds is a priority for the school district. Teachers receive training on how to handle bullying each year. Training and workshops are also offered to students and signage in the schools encourages kids to report bullying.
"In my perspective, the schools are working hard at (preventing bullying)," he said.
New technology has made that job more difficult, as students can now bully each other through text messages and on social networking sites. Regan said students must obey strict rules concerning phone use during class and on school trips, but bullying is "a 24/7 problem."
"A lot of these things go on - most of them - outside of school hours," he added.
A recent presentation on cyberbullying, texting, "sexting," and other emerging issues was opened to the community, but attendance was poor. Although 600 invitations were sent to parents, Regan said only six came. The Sept. 22 presentation was given to students during the day and a session for parents was offered in the evening, after most parents would be off work.
"We would just hope that the parents would work with the schools, not be adversaries," he added.
Jon Plowman, principal at Washington Middle School, said technology makes bullying a bigger problem, but schools have done their best to implement effective rules and strategies.
"Bullying bothers me, and when people imply that we're not doing enough to stop it, it bothers me," he said. "I don't think any kid should come to school and be in fear."
A rule governing cell phone use was implemented at WMS three years ago. Confiscated phones are taken to the office and can only be retrieved by parents. The first year, 60 phones were confiscated, Plowman noted. In the second year, only 20 phones were taken away, and this year there have been just three incidents. Those numbers show that the rule is working, and involving parents helps make them more aware of the policy.
"It's tougher now to be a kid than it probably was 20 years ago," noted Jamie Ogolin, principal at Custer County District High School. "Which means it's tougher to be a parent."
Bullying and poor behavior is also a problem with students who come to the Miles City Public Library, said librarian Sonja Wood. Many of the students who cause problems come to the library after school, on weekends and during the summer.
"They don't want to go home," she said, adding that while the library welcomed all kids and wanted to offer them every chance, handling poor behavior can be difficult.
She and several parents questioned how the schools punish bullies.
Laurie Huffman, the principal at Garfield Elementary School, said consequences depend on the students' age and why they committed the offense. Punishments can include watching videos of bullying scenarios and completing worksheets about them, detention, in school suspension and out of school suspension.
CCDHS Assistant Principal Terry Annalora said he often begins a conversation with a student by reading the law and spelling out legal consequences. So far that strategy has been very effective, he noted. At the high school, policy is also spelled out in the student handbook, which every student must sign. Incidents that turn physical are punished by suspension, but he prefers to suspend kids in school, Annalora said, where they are supervised and it is not "like an extended vacation."
For students who are habitual offenders, juvenile probation is an option.
Juvenile Probation Officer Matt Phillips said he works with 16 junior high and high schools and enjoys an excellent relationship with Miles City schools. Youth under 18 who commit an offense are referred to him and often receive counseling. For non-compliant and repeat offenders, the office also has the backing and support of the county attorney's office. As a last resort, any youth who is considered a threat can be detained.
School Resource Officer Barney Murnin said he also has been very satisfied with the actions and cooperation of Miles City Schools on bullying issues. Last year he spent 25-30 hours in programs with students in the fourth through ninth grades. Some of his training from the Montana Behavioral Institute has concentrated on teaching social skills most kids learn at home. The Why Try curriculum mandates at least four hours of one-on-one work with Murnin for students who receive their fourth suspension. Last year he worked with 13 different kids.
The majority of students are well behaved and involved in school, Plowman noted, adding, "There are a lot of parents doing things the right way."
Just a handful of students creates most of the problems in every school, he added, saying, "Every principal in here spends 80 percent of their time with 10 percent of the kids."
Several parents who attended the meeting told stories of children bullied, intimidated and even physically abused. One mother said her daughter had come home crying with bruises from being pushed up against the wall and begged her mother not to report the incidents to school officials. That made her afraid, too, and she did not report the problem at first. The woman said she would have done things differently if she could live it over again. Her daughter refuses to be involved in extra-curricular activities and has even developed stomach ulcers from stress, but the situation has improved since she changed schools.
Administrators, law enforcement and parents all stressed the importance of reporting bullying and helping kids know that their concerns will not be dismissed.
Uden told participants he intended to pursue the creation of a youth bullying ordinance in the city to help combat the problem. While physical assault, intimidation and stalking are all illegal, cases of bullying are difficult to prove. A youth bullying ordinance could be more inclusive and would more correctly classify the problem, he said. Several administrators expressed support for the idea.
"This is not the last meeting I'm going to call on this," Uden concluded. "We do not want our kids to be statistics."
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+15535) 13 years ago
"IMHO, people who dismiss what is going on today as simply the schoolyard taunts of yesteryear are hiding their heads in the sand, deliberately or not. It is no longer the cries of pizza-face, heifer and four-eyes, or the threats of wedgies, swirlies and stolen lunch money. Like the rest of society, children and teens have become increasingly sexualized, and so have the threats. The worry is where the line will be crossed from simple threat to action."

And one of the reasons the threats exist today is precisely because the "schoolyard taunts of yesteryear" were dismissed as "boys just being boys". Today, kids use technology. When I went to school it was "meet me in some boxcar on the Milwaukee railroad siding to show me your boobs or I will physically harm you". Really isn't all that different. Had those giving wedgies, swirlies, etc been dealt with by the teachers of the time perhaps we wouldn't have a generation who allows the bullying to escalate. Instead the teachers of the time did nothing. Permissiveness begets permissiveness. When I went to school there was a principal who bullied and molested altar boys.

Bullying is wrong and needs to stop. The notion that it is somehow worse now also needs to stop. It is not worse just different. It has been that way in Miles City for a long time.

[This message has been edited by Richard Bonine, Jr (10/9/2009)]
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Posted by howdy (+4953) 13 years ago
What difference does it make if it is the same or worse than yesteryear, the fact remains that there is horrid bullying that must be stopped...this isn't a contest of whose bullying was worse...What should be addressed is how to stop it now!!!
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Posted by Denise Selk (+1668) 13 years ago
"Bullying is wrong and needs to stop. The notion that it is somehow worse now also needs to stop. It is not worse just different. It has been that way in Miles City for a long time.

That bullying is wrong and needs to be stopped is absolutely the one thing on which we can agree. However, your second statement is chilling to me. Why would the "notion" need to stop? It is worse here Richard than in the past. Not sure how you could make an educated statement in this regard. You are not raising children in Miles City. How would you know whether it is "not worse just different"? I both grew up in Miles City and raise my children here. It is not the same (in my educated opinion) as in the past. And, honestly, I am confused by your argument. You are arguing against the "boys-will-be-boys" mentality, when it is your post about bullying being nothing new that started this line of discussion in the first place.
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+15535) 13 years ago
"However, your second statement is chilling to me. Why would the "notion" need to stop?"

I think that promulgating the "notion" impedes action. Arguing over who whether bullying is worse now or in yesteryear doesn't stop the bullying. I understand your argument as saying "it is bad enough that we now need to do something about it". I am saying something should have been done a long time ago and applaud the efforts of those trying to change behaviors.
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Posted by Denise Selk (+1668) 13 years ago
Great. I am with you there. I read in your post a hint of an idea that seems too prevalent here, that being the "I was bullied in school and lived through it, so you kids should suck it up too. It's good for the character." I abhor this mentality. There has been too much physical violence of late, and too much threat of physical and sexual violence, to keep with the status quo.

Honestly, it all comes down to parenting, responsibility and respect, all of which there seems to be a real shortage.
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+15535) 13 years ago
STOP THE PRESSES, WE HAVE CONSENSUS!
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Posted by Denise Selk (+1668) 13 years ago
And no bullying was involved.
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Posted by howdy (+4953) 13 years ago
Wyoming has this solution...

http://www.billingsgazett...03286.html
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+15535) 13 years ago
Yup, we have them in our Jr. High and Sr. High. The Jr. High principal monitors them pretty closely and will deal with small skirmishes before they get out of hand.
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Posted by howdy (+4953) 13 years ago
Great idea...
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Posted by Sherm Weimer (+24) 13 years ago
You can't expect parents to attend a meeting they don't know about...I have a daughter at the high school, and received no notice of the meeting. Every other parent I spoke to did not receive a notice either, so who did the 600 invitations go out to???

We supposedly also received notice of the decision by the school not to show the President's "stay in school" message. Again, no one I talked to received that notice either.

Is the Star reporting correctly, or are these notices actually not being sent to all parents?
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Posted by Sandy Kiltie-Losing (+256) 13 years ago
Our son attends CCDHS and we did not receive any letter about either the "Bulling Meeting" or not showing the presidents speech. Nope, no letter, did get his mid-term grades this weekend, so I know the school has the address.
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Posted by Amorette Allison (+12745) 13 years ago
Are they sending home notes with kids? There is no better way to guarantee a parent won't get the message than a note home with a kid. If I wanted to do something "under the radar" and pretend I had made an effort to contact parents, I'd be passing out notes to kids left and right.
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Posted by Bob Netherton II (+1902) 13 years ago
Stop the presses again! I agree with Richard. There was plenty of bullying when I went to school(I graduated from CCHS in the seventies). Kids and parents are probably still the same but new technologies have complicated matters. There probably ought to be a "Bullying Meeting" every school year.

I also agree kids have no real need for phones with texting and photo capabilities.

If you're the type of parent who thinks 'Not my kid. He/she would never drink, smoke, have sex, etc.', you may be in for a big disappointment.
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Posted by Meri (+125) 13 years ago
I have 2 children in school here and never got any letters from the school either! I personally would like to see a copy of these letters they they sent out! I would like to have gone to that meeting and who did go and how did they get their letters and not me? what the hell!
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Posted by Gwen Gunther (+110) 13 years ago
Glad to hear other people were as in the dark about this "meeting" as we were. We've got three kids in three different schools in Miles City...CCDHS, WMS, and Highland. No letters made it to our house!!! The first time I knew anything about it was when it was in the paper griping about parents not caring enough to attend. What a joke.
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Posted by Meri (+125) 13 years ago
Sounds to me like they did not send any notes in the mail or with our kids! What a crock of crap! I am sure more parents would have gone had we got our letters! I know my husband and I would have been there!
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Posted by Tony Manero (+108) 13 years ago
Did anyone see the article of the 15 year old in florida who turned some kids in for trying to steal his fathers $500 bike? The kids came back and poured rubbing alcohol over the boy and started him on fire! This is middle school! What is happening to kids these days!?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/...ts/from/ET

[This message has been edited by Tony Manero (10/15/2009)]
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Posted by Ryan (+475) 13 years ago
Flyers were sent home with the kids. We received one from our child. She told us that some kids threw them away saying my parents wouldn't go anyway. We would of went had it not been a funeral with family.
I agree with you too that it should of been put in the paper.
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