Suppose your child's teacher is ...
Posted by Brian A. Reed (+6014) 12 years ago
A preternatural confluence of mystical wackiness (Heath's paranoia and the return of the One Word Game) has summoned forth the following thread.

To play this game, think of something real/imagined/annoying/scary your child's teacher may or may not be. Have fun with it. I'll start.

... a wax statue.
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+14950) 12 years ago
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Posted by T Brown (+478) 12 years ago
A Crack addict............
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Posted by howdy (+4943) 12 years ago
A sex pervert....
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Posted by Bob L. (+5094) 12 years ago
a racist who thinks our President is a Muslim pirate who was born in Kenya

[This message has been edited by Bob L. (9/13/2009)]
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Posted by Bob Netherton II (+1905) 12 years ago
An insurance salesman.
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Posted by Christen LeBlanc Ramsey (+271) 12 years ago
the one who inspires them to read more!
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Posted by Brian A. Reed (+6014) 12 years ago
... Richard's mother.
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Posted by Heath H (+641) 12 years ago
Teacher, aka Mr. Teacher? Might be involved in a once-a-week threesome with Buck and Barney.

Bob L., you crack me up.
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Posted by Buck Showalter (+4461) 12 years ago
Heath.
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Posted by Empty Head (+5) 12 years ago
From another planet!
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Posted by Brian A. Reed (+6014) 12 years ago
Heath, follow the rules of the thread or you get to wear the dunce cap ... wait a minute, is that actually your plan? After all, the conical shape has to help with insertion, doesn't it?

Bob L., you crack me up.

Translation: "Bob L., once again, you've held up the mirror that lets me see how pointless my life is. I laugh to keep from crying."
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Posted by Heath H (+641) 12 years ago
Oh, how careless of me.

To play this game, think of something real/imagined/annoying/scary your child's teacher may or may not be. Have fun with it.

...may or may not be involved in a once-a-week threesome with Buck and Barney.

That better for you, Brian?
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Posted by Buck Showalter (+4461) 12 years ago
You're such a queer, I hope it doesn't make your wife feel terrible - you're trying to be normal.

(Sorry, Brian - there is really no way he isn't)
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Posted by Brian A. Reed (+6014) 12 years ago
You're such a queer, I hope it doesn't make your wife feel terrible - you're trying to be normal.

There's another place where his dunce cap comes in handy, Buck.

Heath - "Well, I'm off to do whatever it is I do when I'm not here, Wife!"

Heath's wife - "Whatever."

Heath - "Oops, I almost forgot my cap, lemme just ..."

Heath's wife - "Leave it."

Heath - "But I need it for whatever it is I do when I'm not here with you, Wife."

Heath's wife - "I don't care. Leave it and go."

Heath - "Buh, buh ..."

Heath's wife - "I SAID LEAVE IT, YOU BASTARD!"

Heath, crestfallen, skulks off to do whatever it is he does when he's not at home with his wife, knowing how much it's going to hurt to try to get his head where it usually is.
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Posted by Wendy Wilson (+6165) 12 years ago
And back to the game:

A wearer of socks with sandals
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Posted by Heath H (+641) 12 years ago
Ok, Buck and Brian. Since you are bringing the wives into this thread, why don't you both ask each of yours about my sexuality. They have the proof you need.

Back on task, now.

...from a foreign country with an accent so thick that most of the students in the class can't understand him/her.
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Posted by Brian A. Reed (+6014) 12 years ago
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Posted by Heath H (+641) 12 years ago
Ok, Brian. I understand you more now that I see you steal borrow content from cricketsoda.com.
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Posted by Brian A. Reed (+6014) 12 years ago
Awww, look who figured out how to right-click on an image to find the properties of it. It's also a Busted Tees t-shirt. Call them up and have them put me in a pillory if it helps you get through the day.

But good job on your clicking skills, Ace! Here's your sticker.



(The scratch-n-sniff doesn't work through the computer screen, Heath. Sorry!)
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Posted by Buck Showalter (+4461) 12 years ago
My wife Barney? Queer.
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Posted by Heath H (+641) 12 years ago
You guys are getting way off topic.
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Posted by Mike Zier (+132) 12 years ago
a 911 operator......
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Posted by Brian A. Reed (+6014) 12 years ago
... a turtle.
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Posted by Mike Zier (+132) 12 years ago
a partridge....
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Posted by T Brown (+478) 12 years ago
A PEAR TREE....
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+14950) 12 years ago
After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said:
'Let me see if I've got this right.'

'You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.

'You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.

'You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.

'You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams.

'You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.

'You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.

'You want me to do all this and then you tell me. . . I CAN'T PRAY?
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Posted by Buck Showalter (+4461) 12 years ago
I thought teachers were atheists.
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Posted by Bridgier (+9193) 12 years ago
No, Richard's just pretending that there's some rule somewhere that says that teachers can't pray on their own time when they're not acting in a teaching capacity, which of course there isn't, but Richard likes to think there is because it justifies his worldview.

A teacher could pray when he/she sits down to eat in the cafeteria, they could pray to themselves before class, but they can't say "Kids, please stand for our morning prayer". I know Richard thinks this is the answer to every problem in school, but I bet he'd be first in line to freak out if Mohammed the new 5th grade teacher had the class bow to Mecca at the prescribed times.

Sorry, that wasn't in the spirit of the game, hang on:

A persecution junkie.
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+14950) 12 years ago
I thought I posted in the Humor, Jokes, & Games forum. Must be hard for you to walk with your thong bunched up all the time.
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Posted by Bob L. (+5094) 12 years ago
Ricardo just lives to play the injured party.

It must be horrible to be so persecuted.
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Posted by T Brown (+478) 12 years ago
Judged
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Posted by Wendy Wilson (+6165) 12 years ago
I'm confused how someone could mistakenly post in the wrong forum. Don't you have to actively select the thread you want and scroll down to the end to post? How could you possibly think you were in the wrong thread?



To the game:

Solipsist
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Posted by Bob Netherton II (+1905) 12 years ago
presumptuous
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Posted by Heath H (+641) 12 years ago
an egoist, a narcissist, a Catholic, a WASP, a serial killer, a milescity.com poster?

Aren't we all just a hodgepodge, anyway?
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Posted by T Brown (+478) 12 years ago
Jerk

[This message has been edited by T Brown (9/15/2009)]
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Posted by Brian A. Reed (+6014) 12 years ago
I'm confused how someone could mistakenly post in the wrong forum. Don't you have to actively select the thread you want and scroll down to the end to post? How could you possibly think you were in the wrong thread?

Wendy, I don't know if you've been paying attention, but Richard isn't all that attentive.

...Frankenstein's monster

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Posted by Nathan Miles (+20) 12 years ago
to the above: Which one, because the original was pretty articulate. (but given the picture, i should have assumed one of hollywoods knock offs.)

To the game: MIA
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Posted by Steve Craddock (+2743) 12 years ago
Young Frankenstein (or Young FRAWK-un-steen, actually.) BEST Mel Brooks take-off ever - though Space Balls runs close.

Back to the game:

adequately compensated!
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Posted by Richard Bonine, Jr (+14950) 12 years ago
May the Schwartz be with you
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Posted by Steve Craddock (+2743) 12 years ago
OK, this is going a bit far, but in the spirit of Mel Brooks -

Imagine your child's teacher with -

WHAT SUCH WHAT KNOCKERS!

[I was right the first time - always go with your gut!]

[This message has been edited by Steve Craddock (10/28/2009)]
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Posted by Smiley (+847) 12 years ago
an "emergency licensed teacher" How AWFUL!
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Posted by Hal Neumann (+9919) 12 years ago
Suppose your child's teacher is doing a pretty good job.

Lots of them do after all.
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Posted by Brian A. Reed (+6014) 12 years ago
Well said, Hal.
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