A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ ea. or three for a dollar."

All day long, customers came in exclaiming "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants.

The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?"

"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."

Thanks for the laugh, that was funny.

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked. 'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered. 'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face ... Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the _ _ _ _ out of all of you!'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Just a couple of minutes ago.....'

I think you meant to post that on the NRA thread.

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer husband 2 years ago?"

She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father."

The Father asked, "And be there any wee ones yet?"

She replied, "No, not yet, Father."

The Father said, "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer husband."

She replied, "Oh, thank ye, Father."

They parted ways. Some years later they met again. The Father asked, "Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?"

She replied, "Oh, very well, Father!"

The Father asked, "And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?"

She replied, "Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!"

The Father said, "That's wonderful!" How is yer loving husband doing?"

She replied, "E's gone to Rome in a hurry to blow out yer candle."

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
" Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.
"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of! bras to choose from ."
Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied:
There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?


Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple..


The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.

Ole and Lena were driving down the highway when Ole accidentally hit a mother skunk.

Of course, Lena was beside herself. She said, "Ole you jud hit a mama skunk and look at all da babies. We can' just leab dem here."

Ole replied, "Oh Lena, dey iz vild animals. Dey be Just Fine.

Lena didn't let up and so Ole gave in.

Ole said, "O.K. Lena, we vill take ze babies home and care for dem until they are old enuf to let go.

Lena was ecstatic and jumped out of the car. Then she paused and asked Ole, "But Ole . . . how shuud I do dis?"

Ole: Just gadder dem up in your skirt.

Lena: But Ole . . . vat about de smell?

Ole: OH LENA . . . DEY GET USED TO IT!

A church was looking for a new minister, and the selection committee finally recommended a young man just out of the seminary. Many older church members protested that a more experienced man would have been preferable. Committee members retaliated with the argument that a younger minister might breathe fresh life into the congregation.

At the end of the meeting, one commented to an older member, that this marked the beginning of better things for their church.

"Yes," the elder said with a wry smile. "Looks like we're moving on to greener pastors."

[This message has been edited by M G (9/13/2009)]