I just got off the phone with a nice lady from the National Rifle Association. She asked me if I would like to listen to an important message from Wayne LaPierre. I agreed and soon heard Mr. LaPierre weave one of the most amazing web of lies and paranoia I have ever heard.

The details escape me, but the general picture Mr. LaPierre painted was of third-world countries, Hillary Clinton and the United Nations stripping guns out of the hands of innocent newborn Americans despite their 2nd Amendment Rights.

Now I admit, he did not say innocent newborns - but I have to assume that is his intended audience because anyone who passed kindergarten would have been able to tell that what he was peddling was pure bull-oney. Some of the claims he made were beyond outrageous. In fact, I have no other choice but to conclude that Mr. LaPierre and the NRA are completely out of touch with reality. And this is the man whose derriere our Congress kisses on a regular basis?

Anyway, Mr. LaPierre finally finished his delusional rant and then the nice lady came back on the line. She said would like to ask me one question. Now, this not an exact quote, but it's very close:

"Mr. Craddock, do you think third-world countries and Hillary Clinton should be allowed to permanently take away Americans' right to bear arms as granted by the 2nd Amendment?"

My answer: "Well, of course I do. Doesn't everybody?"

After a short pause, the woman thanked me for my time and hung up.

I wish I'd had the presence of mind to ask her one of Amorette's favorite questions, which is this:

If you have a legitimate concern, why do you find it necessary to lie?

Yeah... I am still waiting for an answer to that question as well.

Care to be more specific there, Richard? Or did you intend to let innuendo do the talking for you?

Groups like the NRA thrive on persecution. If people aren't worried about losing gun rights, they don't feel the need to join the NRA. You can observe the same phenomenon with groups like Greenpeace who have had to get more and more radical as some of their older views became mainstream in order to remain relevant.

Regardless of what I say, there will always be some innuendo talking for me.

They also have no good arguments which is why they are resorting to more and more outrageous scare tactics. The truth will only hurt them and all they have is lies.

What truth is that Donna?

"Mr. Craddock, do you think third-world countries and Hillary Clinton should be allowed to permanently take away Americans' right to bear arms as granted by the 2nd Amendment?"

Judging by this question, it would appear the NRA would be OK with George W Bush or Dick Cheney permanently taking away Americans rights to bear arms.

Thanks for the reminder to send in my contribution to the NRA.

You need a reminder? I just gave them access to my bank account and told them "Take some when you need some".

Anyone remember the old NRA? The one that promoted hunter safety and that sort of thing? The one before the loonies got their hands on it and turned in into an organization that believes every weapon, even fully automatic weapons designed not to take fingerprints and bullets called "cop killers" because they were designed to puncture bulletproof armor belonged in the hands of every nutcase in America?

I miss that NRA. My husband has sharpshooter medals from that NRA. We would belong to that NRA.

If anyone knows of a gun organization for sane people, who hunt and enjoy target shooting, let me know.

I do remember that NRA, Amorette. The NRA of my youth. Seems to me the NRA went crazy about the same time the John Birch Society dropped out of sight. Hmmmm... coincidence, ya think?

The NRA still does all that stuff if I'm not mistaken. You just hear about the lobbying in the news.

Richard, it would be just splendid if (for once!) you backed up something you said. Can you humor us? Please?

I do miss the old NRA as well. They weren't so crazy back in the 1970s. Come to think of it, conservatives in general weren't so crazy in the 1970s. I think it is a general malaise affecting the conservative movement.

I was a member back in the old days and went through the hunter safety classes, paid my dues and help them polish guns in the basement of the Catholic Church. How I let my membership slip I do not know but I must correct that. If Steve & Donna are against them there is a good chance I'll be behind them 100%.....where do I sign.

I miss Chuck Heston.

I've always wanted to go shoot someone in a parking lot. Can the NRA help me achieve my dream?

Seriously, I need to feel like a "real" man. Whenever my masculinity is threatened, I just have to show everyone how much of a man I really am. If that means busting some caps in some asses, it's my Constitutional - and God-given - right to do so. *

* Obligatory sarcasm disclaimer (for Jimbo).

[This message has been edited by Brian A. Reed (8/17/2009)]

A "real man" has the hair to do the parking lot of the bar the Banditos hang out in.

Talk is cheap. Anybody can do Walmart.

Let me know how it goes for you.

A swing and a miss for Jimbo!

Besides, why would a real man feel the need to impress a Bandito?

Christ.

You are dense, aren't you?

You are dense, aren't you?

Says the man who missed the point of my initial post entirely.

Says the man who has no sense of chronological order.

Says the man who knows what everyone means better than they do.

Says the man who thinks I'm an anti-Semite because I don't kiss Israel's well-defended ass.

Says the man who thinks I "bob and weave" when he's the one who's avoided repeated opportunities to communicate directly with me, mano y mano (or as close to mano y mano as possible).

Right, Jimbo. Right.

A point of clarification (I know - no one cares)

Mano y mano does not mean "man to man"

Whoops! Mano a mano, then.

Or at least Mano a Jimbo.

Thanks for the correction, Bob. I appreciate it.

It means hand to hand. Same Latin root as "manuel."

*ding* Winner!

Hand to hand...i.e. Roberto Duran = "Manos de piedra" (Hands of stone)

Hand to hand, face to face, man to man ... you (meaning Bob and Amorette) get the point. Jimbo, decidedly less so.

hombre a hombre ??? (man to man)

You might want to keep that cap gun handy, Jim, because you just confused these guys...



with this guy.

I would appreciate if you would go shoot some Bandidos, Jim.

Let us know how that works out for you, Real Man.

Says the man who missed the point of my initial post entirely.

No, Brian, I understood completely that you were being stupid sarcastic with your post (even without the PS for my benefit).

So I responded with a little bit of sarcasm myself, assuming (my mistake, again) you didn't need a PS to recognize it.

And you respond with "Besides, why would a real man feel the need to impress a Bandito?" (!!!!!!)



Didn't think I'd have to explain sarcasm to the guy who thinks he's the master.

Great little hissy fit, though! You do that so well!

As far your mano a mano bulls**t, it's not a one-way street. If you have something to say to me outside of this forum, I'm as easy to find as the Google button. Everything you need to know is here.


Joe

Yep. Bandidos.

My mistake.

Everything you need to know is here.

Aww c'mon, Jim. If I were convinced that every giant ass I met were you, I'd think the biggest conspiracy (See Appendix A) is lies about the actual human population.

Appendix A: The Biggest Conspiracy

Obama is a Muslin Pirate from the planet formerly known as Pluto, who brainwashed honest Americans into believing he is a US citizen, who then elected him President (that's the best part), so he can enslave the human race, starting with the GRRRRREATEST country that anyone will ever f*cking imagine (YEAH MAN! F*CK YEAH I'M JACKED - LET'S GET SOME P*SSY - HIT ME BRO, C'MON, HIT ME!!!))

[This message has been edited by Buck Showalter (8/18/2009)]

"Buck"

........????

I'm speechless.

Quick!!!!! Try 1-800-222-1222!!!! Tell them you didn't know it was belladonna! If you can't find the voice dial button, take the downers you stole from your sister!!!! They're right there in your stash........Look!....There!....the blue ones...!!

I don't want your wiener pills. (Your subconscious makes you say "blue pills")

Wow - when I started this thread, I had no idea it would go so far astray...

Wow - when I started this thread, I had no idea it would go so far astray..

Is this your first time posting here Steve?

[This message has been edited by Kyle L. Varnell (8/18/2009)]

hehe -- good point, Kyle. I'm just amazed that this thread jumped from a report of a polite if very strange conversation with a woman from the NRA to a scenario involving a profanity-laced shoot-out with the Bandidos.

Then again, I guess that isn't all that big a leap after all.

Sigh. Yawn. Next.

I wasn't shooting Bandidos, I was having a frat-boy moment.