Gather 'round children, for the time has come to finally tell the story. The story of a man that few have even heard of, let alone know the whole history of. This was not by accident. It was by design. The only way that this man could survive, was if you never knew he was there.
The man I speak of, was not a nice man. In fact, one may say, he was an evil man. See, he was a hit man; a killer for hire. And very, very good at his job. Through out his entire career, he had never come close to being caught. He was never seen. He never left clues, to his identity. Let us now call this man "Artie." Artie the hit man. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Artie the hit man.
One of the reasons Artie had never been caught, was because he was very careful about the jobs he took on. He knew his clients, and he researched his jobs.
Now, into our story, enters another man. His name is of no import. All you need to know of him, is that he has a job for Artie. He wants his wife killed. After a long and exhaustive search, this man finds Artie. Or more accuratly Artie finds him. A voice on the phone says, "This is Artie, and I understand you are looking for me." After listening to the mans request, Artie agrees, and goes about explaining what he needs. Things like, her daily agenda, her normal routine, a picture, and a description of her car. He tells his new client where to leave the information, and hangs up.
Artie retrieves the information, and goes about making his plans. He begins following the woman. Trying to form the plan in his mind. For days this goes on. During this time Artie discovers two things. The first: the only place that Artie can guarantee that she will be, is at a Safeway in her neighborhood, where she shopped every Tuesday night. And the other, more disturbing thing; Artie knows her. In fact she is someone from Artie's past. A woman that hurt him bad. In fact, Artie had never met a more hateful woman. Or one that deserved to die, more than she did.
So Artie calls his new client, and explains that he will do the "job." With pleasure! In fact, Artie was tempted to do it for free, but being a pro, Artie couldn't do that. He has to charge a fee of some kind. Artie decides on a dollar. 1 buck.
As Artie had ben following this woman around, the hate inside of him had boiled, until it was a festering, open sore. The only way, Artie was going to calm his soul, was going to be to kill this woman slow; painfully. Artie has decided to choke this spiteful, hateful, woman to death. He wanted to feel the life ooze from her body, as her bulging eyes realize who he is at the last minute.
Artie stakes himself out in the Safeway parking lot, on that fateful Tuesday night. Waiting for his prey. Here she comes. Just as she opens the door, Artie grabs her, closing his hands around her neck, squeezig with all of his strength, until her lifeless body slumps to the ground.
Artie gets up, quickly surveying the parking lot, to make sure he hasn't been seen. But as is wont to happen, for the first time in his career, Artie has been seen. While he was throtteling his victim, another customer had pulled in, and was now running for the store. Artie gives chase. Finally catching her at the last moment. But in his single minded hate, for his original victim, Artie had not brought any other type of weapon, so all he could do is choke this one also. Trying to make this one fast and painless, Artie chokes the life from this innocent witness.
Now, as Murphy's law will tell you, if it can go wrong, it will. Just as Artie turns to leave, a box boy leaves the store, with his arms full of groceries. Cursing himself for not remembering a knife, a gun, a bomb, something; Artie again resorts to the only action he can. He chokes the life from yet another body. Quickly, before anything else can go wrong, Artie flees the scene, thinking that he has gotten away, one more time.
No one knows for sure, how the police tracked him down, but after a short, but complete investigation, Artie is caught. Hauled in to jail, and booked for First Degree Murder, while the towns newspaper heralds the arrest with: ARTIE CHOKES, THREE FOR A BUCK, AT SAFEWAY."
Thank you, for listening.