State of the Union Address Drinking Game 2018
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Posted by David Schott (+12213) 4 months ago
Rollings Stone: The Official State of the Union Drinking Game Rules!
By Matt Taibbi

IF YOU DO NOT WATCH TONIGHT:

1. Turn off your television and just drink uninterruptedly until it's over.

IF YOU DO WATCH:

Drink once each time President Trump:

1. Says "believe me," or claims to be the "most (something good)" or the "least (something bad)"

2. Pulls out a "some of my best friends are Haitian" line, or in some other painful way denies being racist. Drink twice if he does so and then also talks about building the Wall.

3. Talks priapismically about the Republican tax cut package, or hints at the great relationship he enjoys with the GOP leadership, causing a cutaway to a mortified Paul Ryan or Mitch McConnell, as each struggles over whether or not to bite his glass cyanide capsule

4. Mentions ExxonMobil, Walmart, Apple or any other corporation that reportedly is investing in America because of Trump's tax package

5. Uses the "pinchy hands" gesture (up to a maximum of three times)

6. Sniffles with suspicious vigorousness (again, maximum three shots)

7. Pulls a Kobe special and overcompliments his wife in embarrassingly public fashion in the wake of the Stormy Daniels story

8. Says something is "tremendous." Drink twice if the thing in question was totally not tremendous, e.g., "What a tremendous first year this administration had."

9. Causes a lawmaker to walk out mid-speech

10. Makes veiled/unveiled threat to North Korea that increases the chance that Guam will be annihilated before the end of the speech

11. Mentions the 702 Surveillance Reauthorization. Drink twice if you see members from both parties cheering

12. Mentions Jay-Z, Meryl Streep, Michael Wolff, Steve Bannon, "Fake News" CNN or Dianne Feinstein. Double shot for "FBI lovers" Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, "Dicky" Durbin, "Cryin'" Chuck Schumer, or "Crazy" Jim Acosta.

13. Mentions a "witch hunt." Wrap arms with your friend and "collude" to drink each others' shots if the word "collusion" is used instead

14. Mispronounces "Nazarbayev" or some similar personage. Double shot if he mispronounces Davos or talks about how much the Swiss love him

15. Mentions in admiring fashion Dr. King, Abraham Lincoln or some other defenseless dead person. Take a vote within your group to decide if Bob Dole counts

AFTER THE SPEECH:

1. THE VAN JONES RULE: Finish the ENTIRE BOTTLE of whatever you are drinking if anyone on any of the major networks describes the speech as "presidential" or says something along the lines of: "He became president tonight."

2. THE LOU DOBBS RULE: If at the end of the speech you are not yet inebriated, turn to the Fox Business channel and take two despair shots.
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Posted by Hal Neumann (+8573) 4 months ago
Bonus points if he says covfefe? Uniom?
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Posted by MilesCityMcGee (+212) 4 months ago
"Mom... how did Daddy die?"

.......

"Oh son, he died patriotically by adhering to the laws of The State of The Uniom Drinking Game, 2018 Edition"
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Posted by Gunnar Emilsson (+11471) 4 months ago
Washington Post best summarized Trump's State of the Union speech.

Hollow words from a morally bankrupt man.
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Posted by David Schott (+12213) 4 months ago
Imagine that, a GOP Congressional train wreck the day after that most beautiful State of the Union speech.

CNN.COM: Train carrying Congress members hits truck: Live updates
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