|There was a rancher who bred livestock. He had been doing so the past thirty years -- and wasn't about to change his modus operandi. He did, however, come up with an odd habit. He asked the local minister to come to the ranch and "marry" cattle he intended to breed.
The church's old minister had decided to retire, and the new preacher came out. He told the rancher, "I've never heard of such a dumb act in my life."
Our friendly rancher said, "All I ask you to do is to pronounce vows in front of the two before they breed. Kinda like a woman is supposed to remain a virgin til after she marries."
The pastor determined mentally, 'Well, it is just an idiosyncrasy -- what harm can there be in performing the ritual?'
He asked the rancher to write down the ceremony as he wanted it read. He did so. Little did the cleric expect the last line to be like it was.
It started as your usual marriage ceremony. But when he got to the last line, the reverend got a grin on his face. He said to the cow and the bull, "I now pronounce you husband and wife, for heifer and heifer, Amen!"
|THANK YOU FOR KEEPING US LAUGHING!
|Just for you Richard . . .
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
|What about Lady Di Ameter?
|She squared away the chaos by providing boiling oil to pour on the villians and a rope to hang them; in sum, a high pot and noose.
|I believe Richard has unleashed a new virus on the world. In his
honor I will name it Bonine Punarrhea.